Such a frustrating disappointment

Instead, you get a movie that's enjoyable enough, but leaves you feeling like it could have been much, much more.

I cannot think of one single thing that I would change about this film. The acting is incomparable, the directing deft, and the writing poignantly brilliant.

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

Government agent Drew Savano (legendary tough guy William Smith in peak rugged form) gets assigned to take out seven criminal kingpins who plan on taking over Hawaii's crime racket. Savano rounds up a team of top operatives to kills all these baddies before it's too late. Director Andy Sidaris keeps the enjoyable story moving along at a quick pace, makes nice use of various breathtaking sunny Hawaiian locations, maintains a fairly gritty and serious tone throughout, adds a few inspired wacky touches (for example, there's a crossbow-wielding goon on a skateboard), stages a bunch of exciting and explosive last reel action with skill and flair, and presents a bevy of beautiful babes in bikinis or less (of course). The fine cast of familiar faces helps a lot: Barbara Leigh as the sultry Alexa, Guich Koock as jolly redneck Cowboy, Christopher Joy as the easygoing T.K., Art Metrano as wisecracking smartaleck Kincella, ace martial artist Ed Parker as himself, Martin Kove as lethal henchman Skip, Lenny Montana as fearsome head honcho the Kahuna, Reggie Nalder as mean loan shark the Hermit, and Terry Kiser as a wishy-washy senator. Foxy blonde Playboy Playmate Susan Kiger provides a tasty eyeful in a variety of skimpy outfits (and bares her lovely breasts a few times as well!). Quito's bright cinematography gives this picture a pleasing slick and sparkling look. The funky-throbbing score hits the get-down groovy spot. A fun B-grade flick.

Watching some of Andy Sidaris' cheesy flicks of the late 70's and early 80's, you'd never know the man was a visionary in the sports television medium and a 7-time Emmy winner who directed the Olympics, Wide World of Sports and some of the early NFL telecasts. That said, "Seven" represents one of his better contributions to the B-movie genre. It boasts great scenery and the obligatory bevy of scantily-clad women that characterize a Sidaris film. And it's a treat for fans of William Smith, one of the most accomplished character actors of all time, who receives top billing and features him in the unfamiliar but welcome role of good guy.Freelance mercenary Drew Savano (Smith) is called in by a government agent to wipe out mobsters bent on taking over the state of Hawaii. For a fee of $7 million dollars, Savano assembles seven specialists (hence the title), each with a different talent, to take on the mission. Though it takes a bit long for us to be introduced to each character and assigned their individual targets, it's worth the wait to watch just how these specialists- The Dragster, The Professor, The Indian, The Playmate, The Cowboy, The Comic, The Black Belt- will take out their quarry.This movie won't remind anyone of Hamlet. Laughable dialog and various unconvincing characters (looking at Ed Parker with his bad hair and pot belly you'd never know the guy was a martial arts legend) make this more tongue-in-cheek than anything else, but it's just this approach- it's a "B" movie after all- that makes "Seven" an enjoyable watch. Lenny Montana, Art Medrano and Reggie Nalder are among the notable character actors lending their talents to "Seven". There's gorgeous former Playmate Susan Kiger and actress Barbara Leigh in bikinis for most of the movie. And Kwan Hi Lim, who seemingly appeared in every Hawaiian/Polynesian/Asian themed show covering two decades, skillfully portrays his usual oily villain.Fun stuff from Andy Sidaris. Seven stars for "Seven"!

This has a partial "Spoiler", or several in a way, since it's about a whole movie SERIES (at least, in a loose sense of the word). This might be the only adventure film ever to have, of all things, a villainous hula dancer (played by the belly dancer Little Egypt - the later one of that name, not the turn-of-the-century one, of course - I don't know why she isn't in the listings here). As for the famous "Indiana Jones" scene being inspired by this movie, there's only one problem convincing people of that - almost everyone believes that "little" movies steal from "big" ones, but try making people believe that the OPPOSITE thing happens. There's one complaint I have about these Andy Sidaris movies, at least, the handful I've seen. Each one has a pretty entertaining "villainess" (like the one I just mentioned), along with the male villains. But each one ends with a sort of showdown between her and the "heroine" (or one of the heroines), as opposed to any other kind of end for her. (I've noticed this in many other action stories too.) And since it happens very quickly, with guns or explosives, it doesn't seem to be an excuse for a "girl fight" kind of scene (at least, not the hand-to-hand kind). Instead (if I'm not exaggerating), it seems to be some kind of overworked "feminist" message - the EVIL woman has to be stopped by the GOOD one, that kind of thing. I don't know if that's really the reason, and I know there's a place for that kind of scene in adventure stories, but it does seem to be overdone. Anyway, that part of the ending is the most predictable part of these Sidaris movies, more so than the "gratuitous" sex, and more so than OTHER kinds of violence. To me, at least.

Good old Andy Sidaris.You can always count on his movies for a little action, a little intrigue and...say it with me...a little skin.Flicks like "Seven", for example. This one features a covert team led by William "Big Bill" Smith who is out to kill off the baddies threatening the peace-loving government of Hawaii. Of course, there's always plenty of time to show some dynamic women in all their glory along with the maiming and killing.But if your movie diet consists of films of this ilk, you could do a lot worse than "Seven". In fact, a lot worse.TIDBIT - This movie features the famous gag seen a couple of years later in "Raiders of the Lost Ark", where a guy is beset by a swordsman and simply draws a gun and shoots the blade-wielding baddie dead. Not bad.Seven stars. Who woulda guessed?