Touches You

Did you people see the same film I saw?

If you like to be scared, if you like to laugh, and if you like to learn a thing or two at the movies, this absolutely cannot be missed.

There are moments that feel comical, some horrific, and some downright inspiring but the tonal shifts hardly matter as the end results come to a film that's perfect for this time.

Dull for most of its running time, though it has its moments and things do perk up later and the climax isn't bad. It's about a crazed criminal in Victorian times (Patrick O'Neal) who is condemned and escapes, losing a hand in the process. Then he returns with a variety of different detachable gadgets (a hook, a cleaver, a knife, etc.) to place onto his limb to achieve his revenge. He enlists the aid of a prostitute (Laura Devon) to help him in his plan. Wayne Rogers (later of M.A.S.H fame) seems completely out of place here, and so does Miss Devon who's awkward in her part. I bought this as a 'semi' blind-buy, because I remember seeing this in prime time when I was a little kid around 1970 and thinking it was sooooooo sick and depraved (way before Friday THE 13th came along). Of course, these days it turned out to be weak tea and a disappointment. Just goes to show you that the mind is a powerful thing and a very old recollection can often trick you. I did have fun with the "Fear Flasher" gimmick, reminiscent of William Castle. **1/2 out of ****

Cunning, deranged and sophisticated wealthy aristocrat Jason Cravatte (superbly played with lip-smacking wicked aplomb by Patrick O'Neal) gets apprehended by the authorities for murder. Jason escapes by cutting off his own hand and replacing it with a hook. He then goes on a grisly killing spree, specifically bumping off those folks responsible for his arrest. Suave wax museum curator Anthony Draco (a fine and charming performance by Cesare Donova) and his jolly partner Harold Blount (delightfully played by Wilfrid Hyde-White) investigate the case. Director Hy Averback, working from a sharp and clever script by Stephen Kandel, relates the engrossing story at a steady pace, ably creates a flavorsome misty and spooky 19th century period atmosphere, stages the shock set pieces with considerable flair, and further spices things up with a few amusing moments of witty humor. The sound acting from a tip-top cast qualifies as a significant plus: O'Neal positively shines as the delectably sick and sadistic villain, Donova and Hyde-White make for a very engaging amateur sleuthing duo, plus are are praiseworthy contributions by Laura Devon as Cravatte's unwitting fair damsel accomplice Marie Champlain, Patrice Wymore as alluring restaurant hostess Vivian, Suzy Parker as ravishing rich lass Barbara Dixon, Tun Tun as Blount and Draco's loyal midget assistant Senor Pepe De Reyes, a pre-"M.A.S.H." Wayne Rogers as the amiable Sergeant Jim Albertson, Philip Bourneuf as the bumbling Inspector Matthew Strudwick, Jeanette Nolan as brash, gossipy old shrew Ms. Ewing Perryman, and Marie Windsor as classy brothel Madame Corona. Robert H. Kline's vibrant color cinematography gives the picture an attractive polished look while William Lava's graceful and melodic orchestral score hits the shivery spot. Better still, this film offers a few nicely perverse touches: Cravatte marries the corpse of his freshly strangled fiancé at the movie's beginning and plans on making a composite person out of the severed body parts of his victims. Why, we even get a lovably hokey William Castle-style "horror horn" and "fear flasher" gimmick kicking in every time something particularly horrific is about to happen. Good, ghoulish fun.

Since they had to use the Fear Flasher and the Horror Horn to sell this failed TV pilot, one might make the incorrect assumption that this is a bad film. In fact, it is excellent within its limitations. Patrick O'Neal is superb as Jason - suave, cunning, a devil with the ladies, cruel and absolutely insane. His story is told in a very interesting fragmented style. We know little about him when he is first arrested but as Draco and his associates track him down we learn much. The subject matter and milieu are a bit seamy for television which is why this was released theatrically at first. I never saw it there though I passed a theater where it was playing. For years I had seen it only in black and white. Recently I saw a color TV print and it looks great. O"Neal is a wonderful Vincent Price stand-in with Cesare Danova, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Phillip Bourneuf,Jeanette Nolan and Jose Rene Ruiz ( as Tun Tun) doing great work. Laura Devon has the best line. As she tries to clumsily describe Jason she suddenly bursts out " What am I thinking ? He is the easiest man in the world to identify. He only has one hand!"

Borrowing a page from the playbook of producers like William Castle, Al Adamson, Nicholson and Arkoff at AIP and the like, this was a lot of fun for me as a kid with the hokey gimmicks of the "Fear Flasher" and the "Horror Horn" added to prevent the more squeamish members of the audience from dying of sheer fright, (the goosebump-inducing voice of the Narrator in the "Instructional" sequence was none other than CANNON himself, William Conrad, who actually directed one of these horror potboilers for Warner's, the Dean Jones/Connie Stevens starrer TWO ON A GUILLOTINE.)This rehash of the definitely superior HOUSE OF WAX with Vincent Price, gives us the grisly tale of serial strangler Jason Cravette (Patrick O'Neal in a bravura performance), who is finally caught literally red-handed as he ritualistically weds and beds his latest victim, ex mortis.His subsequent escape and its gory consequences, (he goes from being caught red-handed to losing one of them), becomes the fodder for a sensational museum of mass murderers run by suave local entrepreneur Anthony Draco (Cesare Danova, one of Warner's second-tier matinee idols.) Once worried about operating in the red, soon Draco and his associates, the marvelous Wilfrid Hyde-White and diminuitive sidekick Tun-Tun (the 'Mini-Me' of his day) are back in business, as the slippery Cravette gives our heroes and the local authorities more red than they know what to do with, cutting a vengeful swath through the ranks of all those responsible for his near-incarceration.Hy Averback keeps all the right balls in the air with a speedy and sure sense of direction, and there's much delightful interplay between the lead characters, especially Danova and Hyde-White. Look closely and not only will you see Tony Curtis in an uncredited cameo, but a baby-faced Wayne Rogers as well, as a very unlucky constable (whom Averback would direct years later in episodes of TV's M*A*S*H...talk about six-degree associations!)With the lush photography provided by master d.p. Richard Kline, and a score by William Lava that reminds us that he wasn't just at Warner's to provide soundtracks for Bugs Bunny and the Road Runner, this was about as classy as genre-B pics could get for the mid-'60's, not discounting the efforts of A.I.P. with the Price/Poe films. Not available in any medium that I'm aware of, you'll have to keep your eyes peeled on AMC or TNT late night to catch this worthy rarity.