Save your money for something good and enjoyable

Plenty to Like, Plenty to Dislike

I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

Crappy film

This movie begins with a coast guard helicopter attempting to rescue a man who is drifting in the sea next to a capsized boat. When they finally hoist him up they notice that both of his legs are missing and that he is quite dead. His body is then taken to a local morgue where the doctor is unable to make a determination as to what killed him because the bite marks aren't those of any shark he has ever seen. Not long afterward similar deaths are reported and three different groups with conflicting agendas become involved. One group consists of marine biologists who want to capture the creature because it is so rare. The law enforcement group wants the creature killed while the last group consisting of scientists want it left alone. Now rather than reveal the rest of the plot I will just say that the overall movie wasn't too bad but it suffered due to very poor special effects which in some cases was almost ludicrous. Even so I didn't think it was a total waste of time and that said I would recommend it to those who really enjoy In "shark movies" or to those who might be interested in a film of this type. Accordingly, I rate it as just slightly below average.

The monstrous star of 2010 CGI creature-feature Sharktopus is (rather obviously) half-shark-half-octopus, which probably sounds like a fairly unique concept unless you've been unfortunate enough to experience Monster Shark, Lamberto Bava's god-awful movie from 1984, which also features this particular genetic mash-up. Italian horror film-makers are renowned for following US trends, but for once it seems like they actually got there first (and by a whole 26 years).Don't expect much else in the way of originality from Bava, though: strip away a poorly developed subplot about a shady geneticist out to protect the vicious sea-creature and what you have is just another in a long line of uninspired low-budget Jaws rip-offs, terribly acted, poorly directed, and much more likely to bore than to horrify.Admittedly, the incredibly bad monster does provide some unintentional giggles, and supplies the film with a few moments of shoddy gore as it chomps down on its prey, and Bava throws in a couple of enjoyably exploitative scenes in which a murderous hired thug (played with gleeful menace by Paul Branco) bumps off a few defenceless victims, but these 'high' points are few and far between; for the majority of the time, Monster Shark is a dull, derivative mess.

The lousiest of all lousy Jaws rip-offs was regretfully made by one of my all-time favorite directors; Lamberto Bava (here under his John Old Jr. pseudonym). You know how it goes in these cheap European imitations, right? They only want their monstrous animal to be be bigger, sicker and more threatening, but this more than often results in the opposite effect. Bava's creature is a humongous sea-devil and it's more than just a shark! We're seemingly dealing with a prehistoric monster here, with the jaws and appetite of a Great White, but it also has tentacles like an octopus! It's up to a couple of dolphin-loving oceanologists to discover how this monster was able to survive all these thousands of years and why exactly he only started his killing spree now. The script of "Monster Shark" makes few to no sense and most of the action takes place on the mainland. The shark itself is an unintentionally laughable creation and it was a wise decision of Lamberto Bava to only show it vaguely and in quick flashes. The acting performances are above average and the underwater photography is surprisingly clear and well-handled. The twists in the plot are predictable and you'll probably have the most fun spotting detailed facts about the characters. For example: count all the cans of beer Dr. Hogan drinks throughout the whole movie!

Yikes.I've seen quite a few bad movies in my days, a lot of them in the company of Mike, Tom, Crow and the others from MST3k. So was the case with this one as well and even though I found the movie in itself quite funny, it wouldn't have been nearly as fun without the MST3k commentary.The movie is a prime example of really bad movies coming out of Europe during the eighties. Horrible music, horrible acting, horrible plot (what little there is), horrible dialogue and really, really, REALLY, horrible editing. Cripes.This might be called a turkey if it weren't for the fact that it's not unique in any way whatsoever. It's pretty much the same kind of film that almost every italian hack of a director cranked out.So, try and get the MST3k version. It's a pretty fun episode with Mike and gang in quite good form.