The Worst Film Ever

best movie i've ever seen.

As Good As It Gets

Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.

Orbiting the globe with a nuclear bomb, three military astronauts debate when to drop their payload and whether to return to Earth after nuclear war breaks out between the United States and Russia in this speculative Canadian thriller. The film begins well, tapping into Cold War tensions that still existed in the early 1980s and with some very intense moments as the trio argue about when to drop the bomb and then later where the safest place to land on Earth is, given radioactive fallout. The special effects and sets in these early scenes are excellent and the film milks the trio's uncertainty for all it is worth as they keep seeing intermittent, truncated broadcasts and have no idea of what is really going on. The film changes tune though as they eventually crash-land and while Maury Chaykin is solid as always as the first survivalist they encounter, things soon go downhill; the second half of the movie comes off as a poor rehash of 'Mad Max 2' as Chaykin and the surviving astronauts become subject to the tyranny of a young dictator who has assumed command. This second-half is so lacklustre - and full of such lifeless characters - that it almost justifies the film's uncannily low IMDb score. When one factors in the awesome first twenty minutes though and all the initial scenes with Chaykin, it is hard to be so harsh on the film. There is a lot of interest here even if it concludes on a weak note.

Three astronauts -- timid and sensitive Howe (a sound and likable portrayal by Tim Choate), brash Jordan (a fine performance by Kate Lynch), and abrasive Walker (well played to the jerky hilt by John Walsch) -- on board a satellite orbiting the planet return to earth after a nuclear holocaust has destroyed civilization. With barbarism now the harsh norm, our trio must adapt quickly to this brutal new world or perish. Writer/director Paul Donovan starts the story out strongly on the space station: It's quite gripping and intense, with a potent feeling of dread and plenty of gut-wrenching claustrophobic suspense. Alas, the narrative rapidly degenerates into an utterly routine and predictable survival of the fittest formula premise complete with such stock clichés as savage cannibals and a nefarious group of fascist swine lording it over the other survivors in a prison labor camp. Moreover, Kevin King proves to be a laughably unconvincing main villain as evil adolescent brat Gideon Hayes; this kid not only sorely lacks the necessary hard sinister edge to be remotely frightening or intimidating, but also seems far too young and boyish to be the leader of a small army. Fortunately, ever-reliable character actor Maury Chaykin contributes a spot-on leering turn as lecherous kilt-wearing loner kook Vinny while Lenore Zann provides a winning surplus of sass and spirit as plucky teen J.J. In addition, Howe makes for a refreshingly wimpy and unconventional reluctant hero. The crisp cinematography by Douglas Connell and Lee Krizsan works wonders with both the modest budget and the desolate sylvan Nova Scotia locations. Chris Young's rattling score does the moody trick. Plus there are a few loopy distinctly Canadian touches -- a space station that's stocked with soft-core porn! -- which lift this one a notch or two out of the ordinary. An overall decent end of the world sci-fi thriller.

This low-cost Canadian produced presentation is reasonably ordinary, but for its type not as terrible as it's made out to be. This is one of those films that the cover artwork always made it look quite interesting, but the synopsis on the back had less of an affect. A friend of mine convinced me to watch it, after the first half-hour I could see why because the story does such a great job setting up the highly-charged, innovative predicament (three astronauts in space watch on as world war three erupts with nuclear attacks on Earth) to only lose its way when a couple months later they crash-land back on earth then it becomes a very vanilla-like post-apocalyptic Sci-fi wasteland survival outing (of the very cheap, rancid b-grade kind) with some very unbelievably trite villains that come off more as joke than anything truly threatening. The head honcho played by Kevin King seemed more suited in a "Save by the Bell" episode, than as a ruthlessly imposing leader. At times I was waiting for cued laughter from an audience whenever he was on screen, as he came off more so a brat. Just as poor was Tim Choate in the leading role. Well more so eccentrically annoying. I found the support to be much better; Kate Lynch, Lenore Zann (running around in a school uniform), Maury Chaykin and John Walsch. The opening first half-hour is very well pulled off; with some striking visuals, solid set-designs and usefully gripping details. You could see where all the money went in to, but that could probably explain its weakly conceived abrupt ending. Maybe that had run out. Anyhow during its grounded action, it does create some nasty touches, edgy activity and cement an ugly intensity. Too bad it just too daft (simply lacking the colourful craziness) and at times incoherent. The story is straight-forward, although the script is flimsy and too black and white to make it completely fulfilling. Minimally junky and grim, if particularly plain post-nuke entertainment.

Three astronauts on an orbiting space station loaded with nukes witness the outbreak of Nuclear War. After weeks of orbiting, knowing their loved ones back home are dead or dying an external signal forces them back to Earth. The crew jettison their nukes but one jams in the bay. When they land the female doctor is injured and the captain is killed by cannibals. The third member of the crew (Howe) goes looking for help and is soon in the hands of a local warlord who, it turns out, was responsible for the re-entry of the spaceship. He (rightly) suspected it contained information that would lead him to a "Safe Haven". The two remaining crew members are tried for war crimes and sentenced to hang. Howe escapes but returns, starting a rebellion. He finds the doctor dead. Eventually Howe and JJ (the Warlord's girlfriend) sail away as the last nuke on the downed ship explodes.I'm surprised at the low rating this movie gets. For a lo-budget SF film of the period it is not at all bad. For one thing it does not play safe. Though influenced by many movies: Mad Max - obviously, Dark Star, The Quiet Earth etc. the first section of this film on the station is genuinely effective. It goes downhill a little as we enter the usual post apocalyptic shoot 'em up of the second half but even so, everything that happens is horribly credible. I suspect people don't like this movie because it's not easy. It doesn't drop all the usual clichés into place like the the standard lazy Hollywood cheapo SF flick. The moment where our hero shoots the two guards on the boat is very realistic. He doesn't want to shoot them. He's never shot anyone before and pleads with them not to pick up their guns. They think he's bluffing and slowly reach towards them. He screams at them to stop. Their hands reach out nearer their rifles. He fires. It's horrible. In your standard Mad Max rip off the hero would have blazed in and just blown everyone up. The guards if they were given a chance would have dived for their weapons - not reached out for them slowly like they do here. It's not your standard Holly wood schlock.I'm not saying it's a great film, there are many faults with it. But it doesn't deserve the panning some people give it. For instance: The actress playing JJ (though very good) is too old for the part I don't buy her as a teenager at all - and everyone's hair is far too clean. The end of the world by thermonuclear heck and everyone is wallowing around in filth but their hair is all nice and freshly washed? I don't think so. And I didn't buy the hanging scene at all, there is no way the kilted survivalist wouldn't have stepped forward and saved his own life at the first opportunity. I guess the writers were trying to turn him into a more sympathetic character but it just didn't work.If I was looking to make a low-budget movie I would certainly give this one a look for ideas and inspiration. There is some good stuff in here.