Please don't spend money on this.

Absolutely amazing

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

A seedy writer of sleazy pulp novels (Michael Caine) is recruited by a quirky, reclusive ex-actor (Mickey Rooney) to help him write his biography at his house in Malta.This is Mike Hodges' follow-up to "Get Carter" (1971) and takes a bit of a different turn. Though there does remain that seedy element, only this time transported to Malta. Fans of Italian exploitation and Z-grade science fiction are sure to recognize Nadia Cassini ("Starcrash", 1978).Hodges spent a long time coaxing noir veteran Lizabeth Scott out of retirement to fly to Malta for the shooting. Scott said that while she enjoyed the beauty of Malta, she was not pleased that most of her footage was cut out — eight scenes in all. Hodges for his part reported that Scott was challenging to work with while shooting. Scott "hadn't make a picture in 15 years and I had to really coax her into coming back." But Scott overcame her stage fright and Hodges was pleased with Scott's performance.

Michael Caine plays a writer of pulp fiction novels in the European pseudo-mystery, pseudo-comedy pseudo-thriller Pulp. His books are full of sex and violence so risqué that the secretaries who are in charge of listening to his dictation get distracted by his sensational images. It's pretty silly, but not exactly funny enough to make you laugh. Then, a has-been movie star, played by Mickey Rooney, hires Michael to write his biography, and they become the target of a mysterious villainous group.If you like Michael Caine, you're not going to like this movie. Not only does he look very different than the dreamboat you'll be expecting to see, but Mike Hodges's script makes his character hard to root for. If you like Mickey Rooney, you'll be disappointed in this movie. He's only on screen for about twenty minutes.The sense of humor, sequence of events, and general style of filming felt just too European for me to like this film. It's quirky, and not my type of quirk, but you're welcome to give it a try if you like that kind of movie.

Why do I love this movie so very much?The level of smarm and snark is beyond stellar, Caine is absolute perfection. Sure it's cliché' filled and spectacularly dated, but I think that is part of why it's so entertaining. Mickey Rooney is an interesting casting decision, and it makes me wonder if part of the reason he is in it was to secure financial backing from the studio. He was after all a huge force in the business at this time.Back to the movie. There's no point to breaking down technical parts and storyline continuity. It is far greater than the sum of it's parts.It's the kind of gem you find that reminds you of your reason for searching...Equal parts grit and ingratiating , it deserves to be watched if for noother reason than for a grimy window into the world of early 70's movie-making.Watch it. It's a Sunday afternoon delight.It's a imperfect, melancholic joy.

This starts of with quite a few good laughs some visual, some slapstick and a few situation based but gets a little more serious as it progresses.The acting is good with Rooney as the slightly mad client being especially good and Caine is his usual self in the lead.The one liners are delivered well and the occasional difference between what is narrated and what is acted out is amusing.The plot is a little thin and when it gets serious it doesn't do it too well.It's a watchable film with no bad bits and a few good ones but it's nothing special.