Touches You

Terrible acting, screenplay and direction.

Save your money for something good and enjoyable

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

On their 18th birthday, Hawaii surfer dudes Stew and Phil Deedle skip school. Their wealthy father Elton, informed that the boys will get no more second chances, has to do something. Realizing the boys will someday take over his business, he must see that they are turned into men, so he sends them to a sort of boot camp in Wyoming. A couple of unexpected detours result in the boys ending up unconscious at the entrance to Yellowstone Park, wearing the labelled clothes of Mel and Mo, the park's newest ranger trainees. (Did I mention Mo and Mel are female?) Mel and Mo were hired because of their rodent expertise, because the park has a serious prairie dog problem. This was caused by former head ranger Frank Slater, fired after an incident several years ago and now out for revenge, along with his associates Crabbe and Nemo. Stew and Phil don't bother to correct Capt. Pine, the current head ranger, when he believes they are who the clothes say they are. They see an opportunity to satisfy their father in a way that lets them have a good time. Mel and Mo, meanwhile, are otherwise occupied. The big event coming up, which Slater wants to sabotage, is the billionth birthday of Old Faithful.Another reason the boys want to stay at Yellowstone--Lt. Jesse Ryan, another ranger who is the stepdaughter of Capt. Pine, who declares her off limits. That doesn't stop the boys from trying.I don't understand how Disney could be associated with such garbage. For one thing, there was too much off-color humor for my taste. But I enjoyed this mess overall. There was plenty of slapstick comedy, especially the constant misfortunes of poor Capt. Pine, and Slater's brainless sidekicks. And we were taken on several exciting thrill rides, especially in the sequences immediately preceding the boys' arrival at the park. Another thrilling sequence involved surfboards (In Wyoming? Yes).Steve Van Wormer and Paul Walker had their good moments, reminding me a lot of the superior Bill and Ted movies. So did A.J. Langer and Robert Englund. But one doesn't watch movies such as this for good acting. And there wasn't much. I'm surprised a respected actor such as Dennis Hopper would get involved with something like this. He really didn't add that much. John Ashton also didn't make me as happy as he could have. And despite talent he has shown over the years on "The Young and the Restless", Eric Braeden fell flat in his brief appearances as the boys' father.As mindless enjoyable entertainment, though, this film succeeded. I can say I had a good time.

I was a kid when I first saw it, but when it was on TV a couple years ago I realized how confusing it was because they're twins and you think both of them are equally hot, but Stew has the best hair, but Phil is better because the ranger girl wants to go out to the forest to eat worms (like the gross white maggot kinds!), but Phil put gummy worms out instead so he doesn't have to kiss a girl with worm-breath.That was the nicest thing ever!It's pretty wild how Phil Deedle grew up to become Paul Walker and the other guy was in Bubble Boy or something. Paul Walker is pretty hot and you can tell he's smart cuz he helped figure out about the P-Dogs. Petey the P-Dog was cute, but not the same way Paul Walker is!

I'm sorry, but this movie is hilarious. I don't know why, and I'm reasonably embarrassed by finding it humorous, but something is just great about it.I'd rent it just to see the nurse say, "And, I hand washed your panties!" to that guy from Varsity Blues.This high quality film has an abundance of excellently quotable absurd Deedle-lingo, so grab a pen and paper why you watch.Also, wait out the credits for a great song featuring Rivers Cuomo of Weezer fame.

This film has some of the worst effects I've seen, the story is totally stupid, and the characters are ridiculous. But somehow it all falls into place and makes this one of the funniest films I've seen in quite some time. It stars Paul Walker of "Fast and the Furious," fame, basically running around doing silly things, as a make-up-less Freddy Kruger tries to stop him.Watch it.