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hyped garbage

Wow! What a bizarre film! Unfortunately the few funny moments there were were quite overshadowed by it's completely weird and random vibe throughout.

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

A good explosions and car chase movie replete with corny wisecracks is a bodily need for most males.It is one of our burdens. Bond movies deliver our hit very satisfactorily, as do the Bournes, Die Hards, and many Jason Statham movies, and with the dose of cinematic testosterone we can go about our daily lives, often for weeks, or even months before we need some more explosions etc. 3/10 is the lowest score I have ever given a movie and how I sat through the whole thing will always be a mystery to me. Anyone who has overdone a cocktail of substances could relate to Statham's lead character, which is the central theme of the flick, but sadly despite our enthusiasm to suspend disbelief this movie is strained beyond comprehension. Almost certainly the writers and crew were in a more heavily drugged state than Statham's character and the ensuing incoherent mess is just a nasty waste of time. And profoundly unfunny. You are better off rewatching one of the old Transporter movies.

Crank (2006):Dir: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor / Cast: Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Efren Ramirez, Dwight Yoakam, Jose Pablo Cantillo: Silly action comedy about adrenaline as Jason Statham awakens to discover his body poisoned and an hour to live. He immediately springs into action to keep his heart pounding resulting in a car crash on an escalator, a hilarious public sex scene that has to be seen to be believed, and a questionable violent conclusion that proves that directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor are attempting to rise above action clichés with a wink. Statham delivers a hilarious performance as he struggles to maintain his heart rate while seeking revenge. His final scene is a great punch line consisting only of a blink of an eye, but it is a second to be savored. Amy Smart plays his dumb blonde girlfriend whose public sex scene with Statham is among the film's biggest laughs. Her appearance seems unnecessary but it works to comic effect. Flat supporting roles by Efren Ramirez as a gay street contact sought by Statham, and Dwight Yoakam as a doctor for the mob. Jose Pablo Cantillo plays a criminal rival to the Statham character and that is about it for him. Fast paced action that never quits once Statham is off and running, but it also works tremendously as a comedy as well. Interesting theme regards life and its fragility in an action film cranked full of nonsense. Score: 9 / 10

This movie is unrealistic, but it has some new original ideas. It cannot be taken seriously, but it's not boring, it's entertaining and worth watching. Russians don't produce such movies.The moment when a killer tries to shoot his girl and she doesn't notice anything is funny and odd. Liked this moment.It looks sure like GTA series.People who like risk should like it. There are people who like risk and I am one of them.The main actor good fits the role. I think they could make a serious movie, which would have success.The script looks like amateur one, the direction and acting looks professional like we see in Hollywood films.

Ha, what a hot mess and I mean that in the best way possible. Just an awesomely destructive, adrenaline filled ride. I honestly can't imagine anyone but Jason Statham playing this role either, I mean he's insane, violent, sexy and hilarious. I really never knew what was going to happen next.It plays out a bit like a video game with Statham as hit man Chev Chelios, who wakes up to discover he's been dosed with a lethal drug by a rival (the opening is excellent). While he tears apart Los Angeles in his frantic search for the antidote he learns that he'll die if his heart rate slows down too much. Okay, there are a lot of memorable scenes here but when he steals the police motorcycle and drives it around while wearing a hospital gown... 01.10.14