Bad Acting and worse Bad Screenplay

Blistering performances.

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

Blistering performances.

But we might as well start somewhere in any case. The story is pretty basic. A group of girls at a slumber party are targeted by an escaped lobotomy patient. A story this basic can go one way or the other and it this case it's poorly done. What are the other problems? First of all we have the characters. They're terrible. There's no reason to care about any of these people. None of the girls are in any way likable. One of them has no personality, another is really whiny, and the third just spews homophobic slurs. The boys that arrive aren't any better. They're all just bland carbon copies. The acting is also horrendous, but to be fair I didn't expect anything that great to begin with. Oddly enough, the biggest part of the movie is the continuity. The narrative structure itself is flawed beyond belief. The story (as mentioned above) is pretty basic, just a slumber party horror movie. It shouldn't be that hard to follow. And I'm not saying that it's purposely unconventional like a Christopher Nolan movie, I'm saying it's flawed. I think the main character dies at least twice, other random characters appear and disappear, another character goes to buy orange juice after having already gone to bed. The worst case of this is when there's one shot of the movie that appears out of nowhere. It has no relation to the plot, it's never mentioned again, and it even looks like it belongs in a completely different movie. I'm serious. This film has no rules.

I want to start my review off in a positive manor, so let me just say I did enjoy this film. However, I didn't enjoy it for the right reasons.The Last Slumber Party was written and directed by Stephen Tyler (not of Aerosmith). I say written and directed very loosely, as well, because it seems to me like very little effort was put into this film, which is not uncommon, especially in the 80′s. However, little is excusable here. This film centers around a group of teenage girls on the last day of school, throwing a slumber party that a homicidal maniac decides to crash. Not an overly complex or original plot, although countless other films manage to pull it off much better. The acting in this film is atrocious. The characters have zero depth with the exception of a few small lines lifted from "Halloween." It's hard to give victims less character than your garden variety slasher movie, but this film does it. The editing and pacing are also quite bothersome for me. The editor must have also felt it necessary to use the same footage of the killer walking towards the camera over and over and over.This isn't a great way to spend a Saturday night, if you want to be scared, but if you want to watch a b-movie with your friends and have a good laugh, I fully recommend this movie.

I'll be honest. There's a lot that goes on during this glorious 70-something minutes that I don't really understand at all. And I have already accepted that I most likely never will. I'm talking about some of the most disconnected performances this or any era of Z-grade cinema has to offer. I'm talking about foul-mouthed high school chicks (played by a bunch of 30 year olds) who stay up as late as they want. I'm talking about dudes with brews. I'm talking Shot on super-8, and proud of it! Welcome to The Last Slumber Party. The undisputed stupidest movie of the 1980's.School's out for the Summer, and these fun-lovin' chicks decide to celebrate the best way they know how. Slumber Party! And of course, said slumber party is crashed off and on by eager, fun-lovin' guys, plus a killer lurks around from time to time. But nobody makes a big thing out of it. Sounds fairly simple to comprehend, no? No is right! How the director made all that as confusing as he did is beyond comprehension. Nobody ever seems to be on the same page to the point that it seems almost improvised. The plain chick is constantly trying to call it a night, while the redhead is constantly trying to "rustle up some men folk", and other random shenanigans. The blond is just there being blond. The men folk are of course ridiculous. The killer seemingly appears out of nowhere. Certain parts feels like a completely different movie. A nice way of describing this flick would be "a mess". However, an honest way of describing this film, in my opinion, would be "amazing". The Last Slumber Party is amazing to the point that it deserves more notoriety. This movie deserves to be spoken in the same sentences as such disasterpieces as Blood Freak, Troll 2, and Don't Go In The Woods. If The Last Slumber Party were just a little more coherent, I would totally recommend this with some booze. But you gotta see this. I mean, you REALLY gotta see this! If you're in your right mind, at least you'll know it wasn't just you being drunk, and that The Last Slumber Party is in fact like that.As some one who loves the schlock, I find it amazing that I went as long as I did without checking this out. And now that I have, I must tell the world of its unbelievable stupidity. Never have I been so completely undecided on whether or not the humor in a movie is intentional or not. Is it a spoof of Slumber Party Massacre? Is it just a sad clone, trying desperately to fit in the world of 80's slashers? It really is that hard to tell where these people are coming from. When a character finds the freshly-killed corpse of a loved-one, are they instructed to act as if they don't care, or were they honestly trying their best. I just couldn't tell. It's brain damaged qualities like the ones found in The Last Slumber Party that are the ingredients of true 100% quality schlock. Now, to my knowledge, I've never seen the more well known Slumber Party Massacre. But I'm pretty sure the all around quality is far superior to the one I'm reviewing. However, I would be shocked to learn it's even a fraction as entertaining. I've seen a whole lot of these movies. SomeI loved for all the wrong reasons, and some I hated for all the right reasons. But in my ever so humble opinion, The Last Sumber Party is the perfect low-budget 80's slasher. These chicks take the cake! 10/10

*Spoilers* *Spoilers*This was one of those flicks that I had been advised to avoid, but as per usual, I let my love for the genre get the better of me and completely ignored everyone's friendly guidance! I found out about it from the IMDB and immediately set about getting hold of a copy. I must admit, that the few people I'd spoke to who had seen it many years ago remembered it as being a ‘complete waste of celluloid'! But those warnings sincerely made me want to see it all the more, and after ordering it from AMAZON under standard shipping costs, I had a six-week delay for it to arrive at my door. Whilst I was waiting for the postman to bring me my padded jiffy bag, it seemed that the more days that went past, the further my curiosities about the flick strengthened. By the time it arrived I was just off to work and all day long I was looking forward to getting home and finding out if it was really worth waiting for…At first we meet a group of jesting teens that are celebrating in high spirits on their last day of school. Tracy (Nancy Meyer), Chris (Jan Jensen), Tommy (Danny David), Scott (Paul Amend) and Billy (Lance Descourez) all plan a slumber party at Linda (Joann Whitley) 's house, where they can spend the night drinking, taking drugs and doing the usual cheesy antics that eighties teens in slasher movies love to do! Meanwhile, whilst they all merrily head off home to prepare for their fateful gathering, elsewhere in the town it seems a lunatic patient from the local asylum has escaped sporting a surgical mask and apron and clutching a very sharp scalpel! He gets the address of his psychiatrist's home and heads over there to carry out the threat that we learn he gave him days before. - He warned the doctor that he would find him and kill him! Then we find out that the medic is Linda's father, so the vicious butcher has conveniently found himself a house full of would be victims to slash! As the beer flows at the party, the unwelcome guest arrives and before long the blood begins to flow too…Well, what can I say? Ok, ok so I should've listened, but I don't want to hear anyone saying ‘I told you so'! THE LAST SLUMBER PARTY is a bad movie. As soon as I heard the ear numbing heavy metal track that burst out of my TV's speakers in the first five minutes, accompanied by heavy breathed POV shots in the muggiest of bad quality cinematography, I realised that I had made a big mistake by not trusting my friend's opinions! Every single cliché in the book is present and accounted for but they're added with the most minimal effort imaginable. The only thing worse than the atrocious acting and the horrid ‘bontempi' soundtrack that doesn't even sound in tune, is the incredibly inept plot that almost defies humanly description. It looks as if the editor pasted scenes in any old order without knowing how the story played. The thing just doesn't seem to make any sense at all. We don't see all of the murders; characters just suddenly turn up dead all of a sudden. In one scene another killer appears inside the house and we never find out who he is or why he's there. I don't even know if he was just a kid pulling a prank, there's just no apparent explanation. I think that the choice for the ending was Steven Tyler's desperate attempt to escape the massive plot inconsistencies that he knew he couldn't cover up. Things just plod along in no recognisable order letting the obnoxious and tedious characters warble their way through the mess of a script. I know it's routine for a slasher victim to be dumb, but these folks are unbelievable. When the unlikely leading girl finally realises something's not quite right in the house, she sets off to investigate and find out where everyone's disappeared too. She takes a brief look around outside the house, but absurdly it seems every one has vanished. As she turn to re-enter one of her friends staggers through the door and drops to the ground in front of her – dead. Faced with the obvious fact that there's some sort of psychopath at work in the home, what does she do? Run to a neighbour's house to raise the alarm or maybe call the cops? No, of course not, instead she decides to walk back in and around the ‘death trap' finding a few more bodies on the way, before unwisely grabbing a knife and setting off to find the killer! Confused? I certainly was! Each victim is murdered in exactly the same way as the last, grabbed around the neck and their throats slashed with a scalpel. The Michael Myers-lite assassin – who shows us the extent of his insanity by keeping his eyes wide open and holding the aforementioned weapon up to the camera menacingly (!) – offers us nothing exciting or new to recommend. On the plus side there are loads of unintentional laughs on offer, like when the first two victims get killed. A nurse heads outside the hospital to a bus stop where she waits to head home. There's another guy sitting there who's fast asleep on the bench (?). Before she gets a chance to wake him up, she's grabbed by the shoulder and…guess what, her throat is slashed by the psycho with a scalpel. The lazy bystander manages to snore his way through her hysterical screams for help as she's murdered, but amazingly wakes up just after she's been dispatched. Of course this leaves him defenceless, unaware and wide open to get, you've guessed it, his throat slashed too…. Oh, How I cried! There's no effective gore on offer here, instead we get some fake looking red corn syrup pouring out of some unconvincing wounds. There's plenty of it though, right up until the laugh out loud ending that is certainly unexpected. Perhaps the most amusing thing is the way it's described on the back cover:"The plot is twisted inside out leaving you stunned and clinging to your chair as you witness shock after horrifying shock. The ending will leave you breathless."I certainly agree; it was indeed hard to catch my breath after I had been giggling consistently for 80 minutes!As you've probably guessed THE LAST SLUMBER PARTY is really bottom of the barrel stuff. It's cheap, inept, badly shot, jerkily edited, awfully scripted and has all the tension of paint drying. It's not even able to redeem itself by being bad in an always-endearing NAIL GUN MASSACRE kind of way. The most amazing thing about this movie is the fact that it ever got released at all. I think it's great that someone with a few dollars to waste can make an independent movie and get it distributed around the world. But to make a small film like this a success, you need a little bit of, what's that word? Ah yes, TALENT. Sadly it seems none of these guys remembered that either