An Exercise In Nonsense

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

Changed from 'Barbies' to 'Barbys' to avoid confusion with a certain well known blond toy, this Jess Franco film is typically as crass and weird as you may expect. By this time in his career, Franco was about to start working with One Shot Productions, a strictly no-budget company sympathetic to his style, as he was of theirs. So it's interesting to see that 'Killer Barbys' is a comparatively slick affair. For a start, it isn't shot on video. Secondly, it boasts some fairly impressive production values and set-pieces.The Barbys are a suggestive punk rock outfit touring in a Scooby-Doo-type van that breaks down, leaving them at the mercy of the sinister Arkan (Aldo Sambrell) and the huge and Gothic castle he frequents. There are two distinct styles here, and Franco makes little attempt to marry them together – incessant punky-music-scored wise-cracking and softcore scenes featuring the band, and some nicely lit sinister scenes involving Arkan and the castle's Countess, punctuated with the antics of skivvy Baltasar (Santiago Segura) and his two dwarf 'children.' Interestingly perhaps, band-member Rafa is played by Carlos Subterfuge, who would go on to play a dreadlocked Frankenstein's Ghost in Franco's 1998's 'Lust for Frankenstein'.I don't know what on Earth to make of this, but that is hardly surprising. Clearly a vehicle for The Killer Barbys, much as 'Spice World', for example, was a vehicle for The Spice Girls, this venture is a much more lurid and less comprehensible affair. But in Franco's hands, would you expect anything else? Also, it is enjoyable in its way. There are eerie sex scenes, full nakedness and an expectedly thin storyline. There are also a number of nice gore scenes, perhaps befitting a band with such a 'raunchy' image. Main singer Sylvia Superstar as Flavia gets the most to do here, which isn't a huge amount.The dubbing in this is some of the worst I have seen, with little or no attempt to marry the lines with the actors. The dialogue is pretty ropey too ("You are the most beautiful bitch I have ever seen in my life," Rafa informs the Countess by way of a compliment).

While driving on tour late night through a lonely road in the countryside of Spain, the van of the punk band Killer Barbies has an accident and breaks down. A creepy old man invites the group to spend the night in the castle of Countess Von Fledermaus and presents himself as her secretary Arkan.How many times can you play the same terrible song in one movie? I lost count after a while. Are the Barbies a good band? I have no idea. Maybe. Maybe not. If I got to hear more of their music and not just the one or two tracks, I could better decide. So if this film was some sort of promotional deal for them, it did not work on me.The one good thing about the movie? It had midgets. And that is the only thing making this film get a 2 rather than a 1 in my book.

Jess Franco made a lot of bad films in his career, and this has to be one of the worst. The film features the questionable talents of Spanish punk band 'Killer Barbies', and attempts to build a plot around them. It's obvious that scriptwriters Jesus Franco and Patxi Irigoyen couldn't really be bothered to think of a decent story, so we've got the all too familiar idea of someone trying to regenerate their youth with the help of blood from the living. Don't get me wrong, this is a good idea and has lead to many great horror films; but here it's not very used, and it all feels very pointless indeed. Naturally, there's a fair amount of blood and gore on display, but it's not enough to make up for the many bad elements of the film. The dubbing is particularly atrocious, and at times there are voices when the characters' mouths aren't even moving! The band themselves don't manage to present themselves as interesting characters, and it's easy to want them to get picked off as quickly as possible. The atmosphere is decent enough, and the central location; an old dark house provides a decent setting, and is the only good thing about this film. The song that the band sings isn't terrible, and to be honest I'd rather Franco have filmed one of their concerts than this film. Overall, Killer Barbys isn't worth seeing and you'd have thought that by 1996; a man that had already made well over a hundred films could have done better. Avoid.

Killer Barbys (1996) was a vanity piece disguised as an old creepy horror film used to promote the Spanish punk-pop band THE KILLER BARBIES. The band is fronted by the hot Silvia Superstar. A lot of the band's music is played during the movie. Two of the actually band members appear in the film (Silvia Superstar and her boyfriend co-founder/Drummer Billy King). Jesus Franco creates a creepy old school horror film around the band. The band is cruising the back roads of Spain heading towards another gig. But the band never makes it to the other town before nightfall. Their van has broken down and they need to find a place that has a telephone. Three of the band members leave the broken down vehicle to look for help. What luck the band has. They come across an old castle. Inside they find an elderly gentleman who offers them a place for the night will he calls a tow truck. Silvia has her suspicions about the place and the people that dwell within it. The countess (the owner of the castle) wants them to stay for dinner. Will Silvia and her band mates take the middle aged woman's offer. How will the two band members who stayed behind fare? Why was the elderly host acting peculiar? To find out you' ll just have to watch KILLER BARBYS!!A fun film that doesn't try to be something it's not. If you're into vanity projects or some old school horror then you'll want to watch KILLER BARBYS. Silvia Superstar is hot and I hope you'll agree with me fellas! En espanol with English sub-titles.Highly recommended.