I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

Good story, Not enough for a whole film

As Good As It Gets

It's a movie as timely as it is provocative and amazingly, for much of its running time, it is weirdly funny.

Satanic starts as teenager Michelle (Annie Sorell) wakes up in hospital with amnesia & her face completely bandaged up, surgeon Doctor Barbary (Angus Scrimm) tells Michelle she was involved in a horrific car accident that has left her with no face, no memory of who she is or was & her father (George Tovar) dead. Barbary says to Michelle that he can recreate her face with the use of family photo's & that nobody will ever be able to tell the difference which he does with amazing success, with both her parents dead & memory loss Michelle is placed into Harmony House a halfway stop for troubled teens run by Bisson (Rick Dean) & his wife Jackie (Diane Goldner). Once there Michelle tries to regain her memory & find out who she is but terrifying nightmares & a constant feeling something is wrong means Michelle doesn't settle & when her fellow troubled teens start to turn up dead there appears to be more to Michelle & her past than everyone first thought...Sitting down to watch the very bland, mundane & generically titled Satanic last night I had never heard of it before, I didn't know what it was about & my hopes were not too hight but seeing genre favourite & fine actor Jeffrey Combs name appear during the credits peaked my interest a bit although one has to say that Satanic can be summed up quite nicely by saying Combs is the best aspect of it yet he has nothing more than a cameo that last's for no more than five minutes which he probably shot in half a day. Co-produced & directed by Dan Golden I would describe Satanic as a supernatural thriller that isn't very supernatural apart from some rubbish about a Ouija board & definitely isn't very thrilling due to it's snail like pace. I suppose whether you will like Satanic will depend on how good you find the twist ending, I must admit it did wake me up a bit & the basic concept is actually solid but like the rest of the film it's done in such a poor, cheap, lifeless & lethargic way that it doesn't have the impact that it should. The main problem with Satanic is that the first seventy odd minutes is nothing more than a really boring build-up to the twist which feels like it goes on forever, this might have worked better as a shorter, sharper thirty odd minutes Tales from the Crypt (1989 - 1996) style horror anthology episode. Look, more or less nothing happens for over an hour & then it tries to pack in a twist & becomes some sort of teen slasher in the final twenty odd minutes.Apparently this had the working title Demon Board & the whole film looks pretty cheap throughout, even the supposed halfway house just looks like an ordinary house. There's not that much horror here, there's not much gore either. There's a burnt face, someone's wrist's are slashed, a couple of dead bodies are seen with a bit of blood splatter but nothing to write home about.With a supposed budget of about $120,000 Satanic looks as low budget as it was apparently was. I would suspect that a bit of that budget was spent on a couple of familiar genre faces with Jeffrey Combs (who needs a new agent) & Angus Scrimm who is probably best know to horror fans as the Tall Man from the Phantasm series of flicks.Satanic is a rather dull, forgettable & boring film that doesn't really have anything going for it apart from a couple of cameo's from genre favourites & a reasonable twist ending that could have been the films saving grace if it had been done properly. Not good.

One of the most pathetic and deceitful things a movie producer can do is promote his/her crap film by exploiting the name of a famous and extremely popular veteran actor and then subsequently only cast the popular veteran actor in a role that isn't much larger than a cameo appearance. Jeffrey Combs is incredibly popular among horror fans – mainly for his role of the demented Dr. West in the "Re-Animator" films – and he's one of the most regular & prominent actors active in the genre, so linking his name to a new film is guaranteed to attract more viewers. Combs' name is the first on the DVD-cover and the first one to be displayed during the opening credits, yet all together he only appears on screen for approximately three minutes of playtime in total! That's quite frustrating, especially because many people (myself included) probably feared already that "Satanic" would suck tremendously and hoped that Combs' performance would be the only worthwhile element. I just hope this isn't saying anything about Jeffrey Combs' career being in trouble or something. It's easy money, of course, but let's hope his career does not depend on paychecks like this. "Satanic" certainly isn't the worst horror film I ever saw, but it's dreadfully boring and the acting performances are incompetent beyond imagination. The basic concept of the film is somewhat intriguing, and admittedly I was pleasantly surprised by the end-twist, but the low-budget elaboration is very poor and amateurish. Following a disastrous car-accident, Michelle wakes up in a hospital and can't remember a single thing about her past and family situation. She carries around an eerie kind of Ouija-board soon suffers from nightmares in which her dead father comes to ask her bizarre questions regarding events that took place before the accident. Michelle is then moved from the hospital to a home for troubled teenagers where her tainted pas slowly gets unraveled. "Satanic" severely drags in places and none of the characters actually manages to say their lines properly. Especially James Russo and Diane Goldner are both horrible as the obnoxious owners of the Harmony House; the place where Michelle is sent after her treatment at the hospital. There's very little gore and bloodshed on display and most of the murders are incomprehensibly committed off screen. There's some hot female nudity and – as said – the denouement is admirable, but overall "Satanic" nearly isn't good or memorable enough to get a recommendation.

This movie is terrible. The sound effects were also really bad and sounded quite cheap.The acting is so terrible, the father was really cheesy and unconvincing.Dahlia was annoying and didn't fit her character. I can't believe i wasted 1:32 minutes of my life watching this piece of crap. I hope that the director rethinks making another movie. This piece of crap has cheesy camera angles and a terrible lead actress who by the way is hideous which is irrelevant but i still felt it needed to be said. Never again will i watch any movie directed by this awful director.

Woooaah Nelly!!! Talk about a cinematic suckfest! This movie blows. Wait it sucks. Damn, I can't decide which it does more but it's very very poor quality crap that barely qualifies for the status of being an actual movie.If you are in an UBER stupid mood you can sit through this just to watch a dumb movie. It's pretty incredibly lame w special effects and it's absolutely the most unbelievable acting ever. If you don't mind a so bad that it's kinda good in a retarded way- you can add this to your roster of crap to half pay attention to sometime. However- if you are looking for a decent horror movie keep walkin' buddy, nothing to see here.. nothing to see here.A few things to show you how dumb this movie is- some scenes of the bandaged face are bandages, others are a hard mask that is obviously different yet both are supposed to represent the same thing- which is pathetic.Right in line with the production quality of the rest of this worthless dog.The lead girl is pretty curvy though. One yum to that.