Touches You

hyped garbage

The film creates a perfect balance between action and depth of basic needs, in the midst of an infertile atmosphere.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

Wow.This film.What can I say? Disney has become infamous in the last decade for producing cheap sequels to their beloved animated classics. However, from 1986-1989, they produced a slew of three forgettable, low-budget, made-for-television sequels to their 1961 classic, The Parent Trap.The Parent Trap is an amazing film. I grew up with it, for God's sake. Picking it up for $9.99 at Circuit City was a steal-- I barely remembered Parent Trap II (having seen it a few times on Disney Channel as a kid in the nineties), but nonetheless braced myself for the worst when I popped it in to the DVD player (it comes on Disc 1 of the set). My expectations were not unfounded.The characters, plot, cinematography and dialogue are duds. Mary's father is cited as "gorgeous," but he looks like a creepy pedophile. His maid, Florence, is a cheap imitation of the beloved Verbena from the original, uttering "I don't say a word" twice. Other supporting characters are just as forgettable. That annoying girl in summer school has a BRONX accent and they're in Florida, for God's sake. And I was not surprised to see that the guy who wrote this "teleplay" never got work again. His characters are SO utterly exaggerated and unbelievable as human beings: eleven year olds CONSTANTLY going on about "cute" boys? Don't think so. Not to mention the fact that this film doesn't tie in with the first AT ALL. The scheme Mary and Nikki "cook up" is uninspired. Susan is introduced doing some "yoga" in the beginning. As Mary would say: "Yikes." The montage at the beginning of scenes from the original is just out-of-place and unnecessary. Also, watch out for the clear rip-off of the original's ending!Hayley Mills. Hayley Mills. What were you thinking? Her talents have greatly diminished in the thirty-five year gap between Parent Trap I and II. She overreacts and her inflections are enough to make me wanna toss my cookies all over the floor. Katherine Fei Heim is utterly talentless. She reminds me of Pippi Longstocking and I wish she'd march back to Villa Vilekula where she belongs! She is a horrid actress and when she screams "YAHOO!" I want to wring her neck...Parent Trap II is basically four episodes of any cheesy sitcom from the '80s spliced together. Nearly half as long as the original at eighty minutes, its plot makes viewing seem to last for eons. Thank God Parent Trap III and IV have faded away into oblivion. The fourth is titled "Hawaiin Honeymoon." Need I say more?

The only thing that saves this gratuitous piece of made-for-TV garbage is the opening credits which remind you how great the first one was. When I was young I would re-watch the credits over and over again, and even eventually taped over the movie but kept the credits. The main characters were terribly acted by the two girls who manage to grate on the nerves pretty much the moment one meets them. The story was uninspired and the supporting cast was boring. No chemistry between Hayley and whats-his-face. Not even comparable to the first one and frankly should be stricken from all records. Except those wonderful opening credits. Hayley was such a doll.

Talk about a bad sequel. Don't see this film-then again you probably can't. It was a made for TV film, and I have only seen it aired late at night on the Disney channel since. Bad script...bad acting... bad movie... stay with the original. 1/5 stars--JOHN ULMER

This was one of my favorites as a kid! I wish it were on VHS! Great sequal! I haven't seen the following 2 sequals, but I doubt they could compare! Mills brings the characters alive once again, and the supporting cast is great! Wonderful family fun!!!