I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Touches You

The Worst Film Ever

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

Within 5 minutes of this teenage romp we see a shaggy hair blonde kid scribbling in his notebook under the bedroom lamp, dream sequences about Porn-actresses being photographed by sleazy men and the same young man and his friend smoking a joint at their lockers while subsequently ogling half naked girls through a door vent. When a movie starts out this cheesy you are immediately forewarned of what you are getting into or what one might think they hope to donate their precious time to, a guilty pleasure. Unfortunately, Homework doesn't get any better. Joan Collins, as the tigress who allures young Michael, ends up looking shoddy and lascivious instead of the wise seductress she is meant to be. This movie is filled with 3rd rate acting and the directing is what one would expect from a novice High School student directing his first movie. The film looks so bad that you could easily mistake this for 16mm or even 8mm. Usually I can laugh and enjoy these old teen movies for the freak value and nostalgic curios they offer. But not this one. Oddly enough, the movie ends on a strangely sad note with the two male friends walking down Hollywood Boulevard whereupon they strike up a conversation about the possibility of making it in motion pictures. The credits roll and this moody ballad about trying to be a star ends this horrible picture. Are we supposed to feel morose? Happy? Inspired? More like ripped off.

first, a few warnings: 1 - do not go into this film looking for Joan Collins' sex amazingness. frankly, what year is this and why am i watching movies with Joan Collins' middle aged hoping for steamy steamy? 2 - who cares when this movie was released. it is sincerely a product of its time (1979) and just because it couldn't find a distributor until 1982 is more the fault of the people dumb enough not to green light this sucker into theatres. 3 - prepare to be blown away if cultural artifacts that nail their subject matter are at all yr thing.okay. let's be honest. we're watching a teen movie from the late seventies hoping that it'll be good. and my god, it is great.judging by the cover and the things i had heard about this film i was expecting sort of a lower rent My Tutor (an amazing film released by one of the all time greats, Crown Internation) but instead what I got was a lovely, less pat and trite, smarter, Fast Times at Ridgemont High. That film was more showy and less involved with the concerns of young people growing up and trying to find their place in the world while dealing with all the perfect teen concerns: VD, Sex, Fame, Love, Sex, Ambition, Sex, and hangin' out. But it is all done with a subtle hand that never blatantly exploits any of the feelings of its characters. Although it does exploit sexual fantasies par excellance but who can honestly complain about nudity? I mean, the rock star fantasy had with girls undressing the lead singer of the super rock star high school group? If I went to a show like that they would automatically be my new favourite band.It captures the era in LA absolutely marvelously. The kind prostitutes, the teenage dreams of fame that seem so easy to achieve, the sassy venereal disease clinic nurses, the feathered los angeles surfer hair, the aching for it bored suburban moms, and the theatres showing Ecstasy Girls(!!!). Homework is like no other film, book, or song (maybe not song, but oh they're so short aren't they?) in encapsulating a certain time, place, and feeling. If you're up for some escapism, into a simpler more gentle time, then check this'n out.Also, the outdated sexual awareness 16mm that they show in class is easily worth the price of admission. Who knew that slang for gonorrhea comprises of such terms as "Gleen" and "Old Joe" as well as many other bits of insanity that I'm sad I've never had in my vocabulary.In case my excitement over this movie wasn't apparent enough, consider it so. God love this film and can someone please tell me why James Beshears never made another film? Sheesh. Must have been those wretched eighties. Haha.

This is one of those teen sex comedies that seems to possess all the same ingredients as others in the genre but when it was over I can honestly say that I never found even one scene the least bit funny. Story is about a high school senior named Tommy (Michael Morgan) who thinks about sex so much that his grades start to suffer and he's forced to go to a psychologist (Carrie Snodgress) but he is also having trouble with his girlfriend Sheila (Erin Donovan) who spends her time swimming in the family pool to try and make the swim team.*****SPOILER ALERT***** One day Tommy and his best friend Ralph (Lanny Horn) decide to put a band together for the talent show and this seems to occupy his time but he's still hopelessly horny and dreams of girls throwing themselves at him. Sheila's mother Diana (Joan Collins) starts to remember the good old days when she was a teenager messing around with boys in the front seat of cars and one day she takes a good look at Tommy which results in her taking his virginity.This was directed by James Beshears who never did direct another film although he did go on to a very successful career working behind the scenes. His lack of directorial skills is painfully evident as scenes are edited together in the most amateurish way and the use of flashbacks are downright clumsy looking. This was released into theaters in 1982 but it was actually filmed in 1979 and it's very easy to see how the times had changed in those years because characters talk about disco music and wear Jim Morrison t-shirts with bell bottoms. As I stated this film really has no humor and one can't help but think that everyone connected with the making of this had no idea of what comedy is. In one truly uncomfortable scene the characters Sheila and Lisa start picking on the black chick Cookie (Renee Harris) about her not knowing how to swim and being a virgin. If that wasn't bad enough than how funny is it when Lisa visits her rock star idol and ends up catching gonorrhea? Yeah, that's always a knee slapper! To be honest I did (almost) grin when one of Tommy's teachers starts yelling at him about his grades slipping and shouting "continue like this and you'll be a garbage man!" The main point of the film is of course to watch the sexy Joan Collins bed a young man but the scenes have a body double and it's (once again) horribly edited. There is one question that I hope readers of this can help me with and it's with the identity of the actress who played the blond buxom nurse in the fantasy sequence. If anyone knows her name I would greatly appreciate it. This film sat in moth balls for a few years until the television show "Dynasty" became a hit and Collins suddenly erupted as a hot commodity which prompted the studios to dust this off and shoved it into theaters, but lets be real, compared to the rest of the horny teenager flicks this is a very cheap and badly made effort that offers very little to viewers.

It wasn't perfect, and that's why it's so cool. Lots of emotion, and you can tell it's from a true story. And catch Betty Thomas! I saw it on Showtime a long time ago but I just rented it and it really brought back memories. Joan Collins' role is short but bitchin.