hyped garbage

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

It's a movie as timely as it is provocative and amazingly, for much of its running time, it is weirdly funny.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Cause it really doesn't have much of a plot, and the little that resembles a plot doesn't seem to make a ton of sense.It's basically about a self-absorbed 'loser' who played by someone else other than Jason Swartzman would probably be tedious.But Jason's natural charm and charisma redeems the character somewhat from feeling like a total prick and the 'movie' from being a total trainwreck.I write movie as 'movie' because it really doesn't feel like a movie, it feels like maybe it would have worked better as a TV series split up to 3 parts instead (although I'm not sure that people would tune in every week to see the next episode).There are some okay scenes, mainly the ones between Jason and his (also real life pet) dog, they have better chemistry together than Jason has with any of his human co-stars in the movie.So I would only remotely recommend this to hardcore Jason fans who has to see everything he's in, if you're not too fussy about him give it a skip, if you dislike him then well you will without a doubt hate it.

This film is a case study on why film criticism exists, to separate the chaff of it from the wheat it pretends as. Neither an evolution nor simulcrum of Lost in Translation, Office Space, or Bottle Rocket, this extended screen test of Jason Schwartzman inhabiting deep suburban environs as a narcissist layabout was likely pitched to distributors as a mashup of all three. Writer-director Bob Byington begins with an old R.E.M. song, 7 Chinese Brothers. This song, from the band's Reckoning album, was naught but a prank; it was Michael Stipe singing the liner notes to a random gospel LP he'd found laying around, which the studio engineer mistakenly recorded, and which the band, finding the track's accidental provenance hilarious, formed into a nondescript, mildly jangly tune. Does this near non-song by R.E.M. inform Byington's film in any measure? No, except that he cues the song at the end credits so that the key grips might have a mildly jangly ruffle and flourish behind their accrediture.From the song Byington derives the title, and upon the meaningless title Byington builds no story whatsoever, and by no story I mean not even a Seinfeldian non-story proposition. Jason Schwartzman is the lead as "Larry." Schwartzman, who is a celebrity and a very good actor, and who might perpetually attract some long-tail audience interested in watching him do anything--say, selling peanuts in a ballpark vendor's uniform-- for a duration of 76 minutes, is required by Byington to move in and out of bland sets (a quik lube garage, a dingy convenience store) and make slight actions (throw a hat at a Mazda, deny your grandmother a sip from a Big Gulp) that are supposed to stand in for the plot or un- plot as it were. Nothing worth filming, nothing that would be worth filming by students, is there.These are petty crimes against cinema Byington is caught at, but that should be no taint against Schwartzman, who screen tests as plumly as ever, or indeed against Tunde Adebimpe or Eleanor Pienta, who check in as friendly companions who join us in wondering just what is supposed to be fascinating about a character who is simultaneously so self-possessed and so lacking in initiative of thought, credible emotion, or stirrings. Rather than screening this movie, Schwartzman enthusiasts are better off hunting down Hotel Chevalier and spending the time gained from unspent viewing balancing their checkbooks.

Bob Byington's 7 Chinese Brothers is less a film and more an idea, a thought, or even a potential TV show pilot. At seventy-one minutes in length, it's a film that practically questions what can be done with a film that has no cogent plot and relies on one simple, yet complex, character and his circumstances, most of which caused by his obnoxious attitude or his general indifference. On that basis alone, the film shouldn't be half as successful as it is, but through its feet-dragging narrative, practically impulsive structure, and low stakes, I did admittedly enjoy this film.This film isn't laugh out loud funny, nor is it particularly compelling or insightful. It gives us Larry (Jason Schwartzman), a man evidently in his early thirties, living alone with his bulldog, who gets fired from his restaurant job minutes into the film for sneaking drinks at the bar. He wanders over to Quick Lube for an oil change, asks the cute manager girl for an application, and soon enough, he's working for an incorrigible man named Jimmy (Jimmy Gonzales), who encourages him to steal any spare change out of customers' vehicles. On top of all that, he's constantly going back and forth to the nursing home to visit his grandmother (Olympia Dukakis), who remains his last living relative, in addition to seeing his friend Major Norwood (Tunde Adebimpe).Larry is the kind of character only Jason Schwartzman could play to great effect, for he conveys multiple different feelings with nearly every line or facial expression he conjures up. Larry is also the kind of character that acts like he has everything under control and that his cleverness and falsified feelings of self-worth will carry him to the places he needs to be. The problem is Larry really isn't half as good as he thinks he is, and this results for a lot of awkward scenarios thanks to Larry's random jokes/physical comedy and a multitude of impulsive, inappropriate actions that have consequences on his part.Schwartzman has to carry a lion's weight of Byington's film on his back, and with that, succeeds because without a dynamic screen presence, 7 Chinese Brothers could've fallen apart in its first few minutes. But because Byington keeps the film moving, through fluid scenes that reflect humor and believable, albeit rather light, drama and never stalls into romantic or comedic clichés, the film, in turn, keeps moving and assembling a fun and breezy personality.I have no idea what relevance the title has towards the story, nor can I figure out the takeaway from this film other than life can pass you by if you think you're funnier and more important than you actually are. However, through very little in the way narrative structure and flair and glamour, Byington has made 7 Chinese Brothers work almost solely on the charisma and dynamic talents of his leading actor, in addition to making this a largely fun, project. At the end of it all, I can admire that.Starring: Jason Schwartzman, Olympia Dukakis, Tunde Adebimpe, and Jimmy Gonzales. Directed by: Bob Byington.

Jason Schwartzman is one of those actors whose films you generally either love or maybe kind of hate. 7 Chinese Brothers (2015) is a film that is definitely no exception, but for those of us who are fans, it hits the mark head on. The film is a character study of Larry, a 30- something slacker and all around aimless weirdo ambling through his days trying to keep himself amused. The brainchild of director Bob Byington, this strange character loses his job at a restaurant after being caught stealing booze from the bar into his big gulp, only to find himself at war with the restaurant manager in an absurd ongoing battle that amusingly recurs throughout the film. Larry spends the bulk of his time discussing life with his lethargic boston terrier Arrow, Schwartzman's real-life dog and real-deal star of the show. Arrow is hilariously nonplussed and adorably immortalized in this film - his sedate screen presence as well as the evident bond between him and his owner contributes immeasurably to the tone of the film and the character, as well as its overall charm. This film is low on actual plot lines, but there are a number of other characters with whom Larry interacts during his day to day. His best friend Major, played by TV On The Radio frontman Babatunde Adebimpe, helps to ground the antics of our main character, but his lucky life also serves to make stark the unlucky fortune of the far more everyday and unremarkable Larry. Olympia Dukakis is flawless as Larry's grandmother and voice of reason, with whom his self-concerned attitude makes itself evident early in the film. So while little of note actually happens throughout the film, we have ample opportunity to explore the recesses of this odd character's mind as well as watch his gradual arch towards some personal growth. The film's camera-work is primarily that shaky, hand-held feel that's currently relentlessly popular in this style of film. Byington really makes viewers feel as though they're following Larry around and watching him mess up, be erratic, and embarrass himself real-time. The camera is right in Schwartzman's face through the majority of the film so his acting had to be spot on to carry this film, and he succeeds in being both comically on-point and pointedly Larry at all times. The character never slips once while the audience eats up all of his bizarre habits, like imitating a fat kid getting out of a pool on every possible countertop, as only Schwartzman delivers this signature kind of absurdity with his particular sort of grace. 7 Chinese Brothers is strange, it's meandering, and it's even a little bit boring at times. It is possible that critics of Schwartzman could suggest that this sort of character exploration is just another means to show off and glorify that thing that he does, that quirky indie, alternative film thing for which Jason Schwartzman is sort of the posterboy. While we sat in the theater and the film came to a close, my partner even turned to me and just said "I don't get it, what is this movie about?" And that's the thing, it's not really about anything in particular. There's no genius, deep message in this storyline; while there's an element of wanting to connect and find a sort of joie de vivre here, these themes are dominated by just the sheer wandering into the character that dominates the screen time. Yet its richness can be found in the experience of watching an artist create a character that audiences simply want to watch. These are the sorts of ideas from which cult films spring, where there's just something that hooks you and reels you in about the world created by those involved in its production. This is what Jason Schwartzman is really good at and here Bob Byington has successfully crafted a memorable space that allowed him to do his thing delightfully. 7 Chinese Brothers is just right for those that found themselves psyched just on seeing its advertisement, and you know who you are. If you aren't one of those people, maybe you could just go to see Arrow in all his drowsy glory.