Hansel & Gretel
January. 08,2013 PG-13In this modern retelling of the classic horror tale, teen siblings are enslaved by a psychotic recluse within her gruesome house of horrors in the woods.
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Reviews
At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.
It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.
The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.
It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.
Set in modern times, say 2013, in a small town in the USA. Hansel and Gretel are brother and sister. Their mother has passed away. Their father is thinking of marrying Ruby, who is three years older than Gretel, selling the house, then moving somewhere else. Hansel, an irresponsible video gamer, runs off and puts his leg in a bear trap. Oi. They see a cabin, which turns out to belong to Lilith, who operates the local general store. Lilith's specialty is a meat pie. When the siblings go to Lilith's house, she feeds Hansel a beef stew that he really likes.Hansel and Gretel stay overnight. Lilith tells Gretel that a neighbor took Hansel to the hospital while Gretel was sleeping. In the meantime, Hansel wakes up in a prison with Jane, Kevin, and Dana. There used to be more in the cell, but they are gone now. They have plenty to eat, all of it cookies, doughnuts, and candies. Kevin informs them that they are being fattened up to be used as meat. They take Dana.Lilith tries to convince Gretel to be her heir, or at least one of the 'family,' such as it is. Gretel resists. Lilith has her dumped in the prison cell. They take Jane, but not before Jane steals a pointy object that she passes to Hansel. He uses it to unlock their shackles and the cell door. Kevin makes a break for freedom; Hansel and Gretel try to rescue Jane. Ruby and the local police look for them, though quite ineffectively.Do any of them escape? Does justice catch up to Lilith?------Scores-------Cinematography: 7/10 Much of the movie looked fine, but some of the dark sections were ridiculously poorly done.Sound: 6/10 The conversation is a close to muted all too often.Acting: 2/10 Dee Wallace was fine, but the rest of the cast was terrible.Screenplay: 0/10 The story made no particular sense. None of the characters were interesting, and I found no reason to care about any of them.
Yeah, when I started the movie I thought I was going to watch the other Hansel and Gretel movie that came out just recently. When I realized it wasn't, I figured what the heck I'll give it a try. This movie was just crap. And someone tell me how in the world their father survived. What was up with the ending? So she's going to eat gingerbread man pies? I don't get it.I don't think the actors could even believe they were making this movie. If you have choice between stabbing yourself in the eye and watching this, go ahead and stab. The movie you are probably looking for is Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. Don't make the same mistake I did!
This movie is a waste of time, unless you have time to waste. The plot of the movie seemed good but once those D- list actors started talking, it all went down from there. The movie needed a bigger budget and better actors. We watched this on TV thinking it was the "other" Hansel & Gretel but nope we were fooled! I wonder why Netflix even has this poor movie for people to see. I'm not sure what else I can say about this movie. Maybe if your looking for some laughs and some funny memories with friends then watch it. Half the time we were laughing at the actors and how stupid they were. If you have the decency to even watch it till the end like we did you can see the stupidity of the writer. Just validated what a joke this film was!!
Who would have thought they would have put out THREE Hansel & Gretel movies in the beginning of 2013? Thought this was the one with Jeremy Renner, so was shocked not to see him in the beginning. Paid to see it, so watched it anyway. Most 2nd rate movies are called "B" movies, if I was to give this a "Grade", it would earn an "F". This is like one of the bad horror movies from the 1950's. Story kind of jumps around so you're not certain what's going on all the time. This is supposed to be a "Realistic" type of situation that could really happen, but then people are stabbed with items and keep getting back up. The ending is so hokey I can't believe they did it other than to put the poor movie, and the audience, out of their misery!