Memorable, crazy movie

hyped garbage

An Exercise In Nonsense

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

What can I say about this "movie"? Rarely have I experienced a film that failed so completely - and completely on all levels. The "actors" make everything, but certainly not acting. The cheap special effects can be made better by nearly every ten-year-old with a computer. The make-up makes the figures into immovable pseudo-beings. Camera, cut - everything is on the same lowest level. Visual effects are used for they own, not to serve the film or even the story. Especially since the allegedly based on Brothers Grimm, the term "story" is not deserved. This crude "story" never reveals itself. Part of the disaster is a synthetic retort sounds, which are supposed to promise something, even if it never becomes clear what exactly.Author-director-cameraman-cutter Rene Perez, producer Robert Amstler and composer Risto R Muzik have to hate their audience and filmmaking. I've seen a lot of bad movies, but that's really one of the worst things I've ever seen. And not because it's just trashy. But because this film is "evil", bad, dumb, silly, a real catastrophe through and through. Not one area, not a single one, knows to convince.

This movie is quite useful as a replacement for water-boarding, though it might be considered too cruel by Amnesty International.The story is about a girl who stumbles into a castle, home of a creepy monster with probably bad intentions, although these aren't really explained. Then a knight appears and is also lured into the castle. In between, there are shots of a modern-day girl walking around with a camera.Acting, if any, seems very primitive. Voices are ridiculously dubbed over. Music is repetitive.However, despite the fact that this movie is total crap, has no storyline, bad acting and annoying music, it does have some (maybe 2 or 3) good things going for it: boobs!Then again, with the amount of free nudity on the internet nowadays, those arguments really aren't valid enough to justify viewing this movie.Only watch when you're really high or feeling very miserable and need something to match your mood.Otherwise, stay far, far away!

I have wanted to watch this film for some time, I mean who would'nt find a 2015 version of a classic tale exciting, I read the reviews on here first and thought surely this film cannot be that dire right? - WRONG!! What have I just watched? I don't think I have ever seen anything so bad in all my life. I had not even got 15 minutes into the film and I actually had to check that I was watching the correct thing. I initially thought that in my error I had bought a 1975 ish version of the film and not the 2015, I mean why the awful special and visual effects. I sat here waiting in suspense the whole way through, thinking any minute now things will get started, something amazing will happen, I will sit tight and watch this film to the end - but alas NO, Nothing! in fact the storyline did not have any plot and made no sense what to ever. The actors must have been hired from an amateur drama school and please don't get me started on the music!!! I would strongly advise viewers to think about doing something a bit more constructive with their time, like watching paint dry, before thinking about watching this. An utter disappointment and an hour and a half of my life that I will never get back!!!!

So the movie has a woman in red riding hood, trying to take medicine to her grandma. And there's a guy in a werewolf costume, which I guess is like a Big Bad Wolf. So in that, I guess the film is faithful to the original Grimm Brother's fairy tale it says it's based on.The bits about a seductive laundress, an evil leader monster with a crown of fingers, some eyeless monster, magical force fields, and a rocking estate in the forests of modern day California digress a bit from the source material.Here's the thing though, it's all so bad and incoherent it's fun.There are flashbacks to scenes we saw less than 15 minutes earlier. And those flashbacks repeat some shots for a second time. There's sound effects recycled from the director's earlier film "The Dead the Damned and the Darkness" (also recommended for fans of bad horror films). The CGI had me praying for a software watermark to complete the cheesiness.But the cast seems to really give it their all. The costumes exist in a weird limbo between "off the shelf from a Halloween store" and "actually quite good". And the locations threaten to steal every scene they're in (but you can blame that partly on my love for medieval style castles and modern medieval-themed mansions).There's so much more I want to tell you, but I have to let you discover some things on your own. Does Red Riding Hood get the medicine to her mother? Are breast implants used by monsters in the 14th century? Will the Power Rangers come looking for their foam-rubber sword being wielded by the knight? Does the film tack on an unexplained sub-plot about a girl in the modern day at a different location in order to pad the run time after the director realized he needed another 20 minutes or so? And why is the knight's voice so manly? So many mysteries! I wouldn't recommend watching this by yourself, but only because this kind of comedy is better shared. I also wouldn't recommend it for kids, or people who take bad cinema seriously (as a wise man once said "repeat to yourself, 'it's just a show. I should really just relax'."), and there's a brief scene of "light" sexual assault that may be too much for some*. But if you've got some friends, some pizza, and a suitable amount of brain damage (or brain damaging substances), then give it a go.Recommended for: fans of "Birdemic 1" ("before James Nguyen sold out"), fans of Rene Perez' other films, movie hecklers, and fans of the theatrical release of "Hercules in New York".(*all joking aside, I only mention this because I don't want someone thinking this will be fun based on my review, and then they have an emotional trigger set off. If you're on the fence, the scene is meant less as a drawn out exercise in horror-drama and (I'm pretty sure) more as a weak excuse to show a boob.)