Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

Asia Argento is a cinema goddess that plays a thief active in London's underbelly. She's caught up in strange love triangle between her male crime partner and his straight laced lover. Each wanting the other. When the two gay lovers split Asia slowly corrupts the straight laced character. The acting by every one is robust and intense. Asia Argento once again proves in B. Monkey why she should be considered a great actor. I love her European attitude view of nudity. She has no problem taking her clothes off showing her body. That line in a John Mayer song about a wonderland had to be made in honor of Asia Argento.B. Monkey is a story that touches on what it's like to live on the edge of society. I was engrossed in this cinematic masterpiece from minute one.

A very lousy cast (Meyers, Argento, Harris, Everett) are very miscast in a mostly crappy and very pointless film. But none is more miscast than Asia, though. Argento plays one of those dangerous criminal goyls that only exist in the minds of movie-writers: she's rough and tough -IF you'll believe it. To make her (even) tougher they made her say "f***" about a hundred times, yet every time she said the word it was as funny and fresh as the first time. Fortunately, she takes her clothes off nearly as often as she says "f***", and she does look good in the nude. Harris is his usual ugly, uncharismatic, untalented self, so the fact that he's miscast is a mere irrelevancy; although the fact that he plays an impotent man does have a ring of truth about it. This nepotistic thespian shouldn't B. in movies, period. Everett lacks credibility and overplays his "cool cat" routine too often.The movie is absurd, has some rather "duh" dialog, and the only things going for it are its nice visual quality, the fact that it isn't too boring, and, of course Asia's nudity. With a cast like this, it would have been naive to expect a better movie.If you want a complete listing of Hollywood's nepotist actors and actresses, with pictures and explanations, e-mail me. Or you can go to http://rateyourmusic.com/~Fedor8 and check out my "TV & Cinema: 150 Worst Cases Of Nepotism" list.

This was Michael Radford's first film since "Il Postino" and it's definitely a letdown because Radford is a terrific director. Story is about a woman named B. Monkey (Asia Argento) who moonlights as an armed robber and she works with a couple of drug addicts named Bruno (Jonathan Rhys-Myers) and their father figure Paul (Rupert Everett) and a local gangster named Frank (Tim Woodward) is the one who sets up the scores. One night Bea meets Alan (Jared Harris) who is a school teacher and he asks her out on a date. She accepts and soon she falls in love with him and wants to leave her sordid past behind. Alan gets another teaching job in the country and Bea goes with him and they start to live the quiet life but one day Bea calls Paul and he traces the call back and finds out where she lives. Paul is in serious trouble with Frank and they follow him to where Bea is. One of the main problems with the story is how much Alan puts up with to be with Bea. Her friends are criminals, she was responsible for him losing his job and she displays a pretty bad temper. Maybe it's time to move on, buddy! But the strong point for the film is Argento's performance. She's a very brave actress and it appears that she would do just about anything on camera. There are several scenes in this film that require total nudity and Argento seems very comfortable doing this. Argento is Italian and grew up in Europe and European actress's seem to have a different attitude towards nudity in films. I first noticed Radford's direction in the highly underrated "1984" and also "Dancing at the Blue Iguana". Both of these films along with "Il Postino" are superbly directed but his talent wasn't evident in this film. It's adequately made but besides Argento this was a pretty tepid viewing experience. I had heard rumors that it was heavily edited but I'm not sure thats the problem. The whole film feels flat and labored and really has nothing special to offer. Argento does make it watchable though.

B. Monkey is a showcase for Asia Argento's acting skills and screen presence. What you also get is a lot of britpop, from when it was cool and "in". However, the idea that lively girl at the edge of society can't do better than shack up with a straightlaced primary school teacher who lives for the most bloodless 40s jazz and to boot retires to the Yorkshire Dales... That takes a lot of suspension of disbelief.Wisely, the knight in shining armor, who looks like David Caruso and talks like John Major isn't featured on any of the video covers or movie posters. Asia Argento, on the other hand, bares all and looks kind of attractive, but it's the beauty of youth. She also needs to work on her elocution, which at first is cute, but is going to limit her as an actress.Rupert Everett is reliable as the bisexual toff heroin addict, but he never jumps out and runs away with the script. Patrick Rhys-Meyers is a young actor to keep an eye on, though, one of those guys who have bit parts in loads of movies, while you never notice them because they act so well that they blend into the background like chameleons (John Seymour Hoffman is one example, or Donal Logue).On the whole, this movie is as bland as the music the lead listens to. Understatement can be taken too far.