Believing they have left behind shadowy figures from their past, newlyweds Christian and Ana fully embrace an inextricable connection and shared life of luxury. But just as she steps into her role as Mrs. Grey and he relaxes into an unfamiliar stability, new threats could jeopardize their happy ending before it even begins.
Seriously, is this the best we can offer adults who don t want to watch Marvel movies?
A sex-free, PG-13 version of "Freed" could be cut without shedding a second of narrative coherence, such as it is; one could ask what the point of that would be, though similar queries might be leveled at the film as it stands.
Finally, the "Fifty Shades" phenomenon has yielded a disarming comedy that makes this ridiculous material fun to watch.
"Fifty Shades Freed" suffers from a lack of rhythm, moving from plot point to plot point with as much spontaneity as meal-planning for one s luxury penthouse household with one s housekeeper.
It seems embarrassed to embrace its own pervy nature. It s kitsch that looks in the mirror and deludes itself into thinking it sees art staring back.
Tie me up, tie me down, make me watch bad films. Just no more "Fifty Shades," please.
As the trilogy goes out, more desperate than ever to convince us it was in on the joke all along, it s hard to say exactly what the joke was.
To her credit, Johnson actually turns in her best Shades stuff here ... Too bad it s not enough to save everything else about this whole silly affair s fumbling climax.
If I can persuade just one of you to bypass its milquetoast masochism and watch the stratospherically superior "9 1/2 Weeks" instead, then I will have done my job.
Ana can now stand up to Christian s emotionally manipulative, controlling tendencies (remember, kink ain t the same as abuse, kids). She even shows agency once or twice. But what replaces it is just as risible.