Sorry, this movie sucks

So much average

The acting is good, and the firecracker script has some excellent ideas.

Blistering performances.

...........well, not so much... Hawk The Slayer is a British-made fantasy film from 1980 and for the most part is a film that's depressingly drab in look and leaden in pace. But on occasion this disappointing fantasy flick comes (erupts!) to life, in a flurry rapid-fire cuts, ultra-cheesy FX, over-the-top characters spouting inane babble and one of the most ridiculous soundtracks you'll ever hear; that being Harry Robertson's vaguely disco-esque, electro-pop monstrosity. It's all quite cringe-worthy really. Ultimately what you end up with Hawk The Slayer is a film that's very uneven, that frequently alternates back and forth in both mood and appearance, which ranges from bland and lifeless, to moments of laughably ludicrous comical excess. Which as you'll see are typically bathed in the garish and gaudy hues of the films patently ridiculous looking special effects, which are typically tasteless done and utterly over-the-top. Once it's all said and done Hawk The Slayer is a joke of a movie and it's always been my assumption that it's an embarrassment to all involved, with that being said it's not ALL bad and I've certainly seen much worse.On the matter of casting the film stars the little-known American actor John Terry in the title role of Hawk (The Slayer), who possess a mighty magical sword which enables him to slay his enemies with the utmost ease. His nemesis is an aging, but still very vital, Jack Palance as "Voltan, the dark one". Jack's involvement in this really makes me wonder, did he do this just for a paycheck or was Old Jack honestly stoked to do it? I vote the former. In order to slay the mighty Voltan and his army, Hawk enlists the help of a select crew of mighty adventurer's: A giant, an elf, a dwarf and some crusty, middle-aged, one-handed, English guy with a beard, armed with a rapid-fire crossbow. Their war party complete, it's now time for them to rescue "a woman of faith", they refer to her as an abbess, but in reality she's just a nun; whose being held for ransom by Voltan. In order to raise the funds for the ransom, Hawk and his posse raid a slaver's camp along the riverside (which is certainly one of the movies best scenes). There are many skirmish's and flash-backs throughout the movie, which you think would be exciting, but unfortunately Hawk The Slayer is a very tepidly paced affair for the most part.A major sore point for me is the movies utterly vapid color. To my eyes it looks unbelievably drab and lifeless, which in turn drastically lowers the movies overall sense of vitality and visual grandeur. Undoubtedly filmed in sunless conditions, under the brooding gray skies of England, I'm sure that's the main reason for Hawk's utterly vapid color. Compare this to "Willow" which was filmed some eight years later, in some of the very same regions, Hawk simply looks terrible and utterly dated.It's strong-points are few, relegated to a mere handful of exciting action scenes (especially the ones with the rapid-fire arrows whizzing through the air), aforementioned crazy characters (most especially Jack Palance as Voltan) but basically it's strongest points are scored on account of it's sheer goofiness - like many of the bad movies I review. Let's get to the part of the "ultra-cheesey FX". During the start of the movies finale, the FX crew actually used what's unmistakably green Silly String! I kid you not! Then moments later a meteor shower of what looks like hundreds of golf balls blasting through the air, that had been film in front of a blue-screen, then had glowing neon hues added in post-production, creating some of the most ridiculous looking effects ever seen.Speaking of the finale, the sword duel between Hawk and Voltan, like most of the movie, is a disappointment; lasting less then a minute, shot entirely in slow-motion and it's choreographed very lazily, it's anti-climatic to say the least. But before that can even happen John Terry and Jack Palance have to bore us some more, with yet more tedious dialog. That's one of the great things about Hawk The Slayer, the voice of Jack Palance, it was a true one-of-a-kind voice and it simply sounds incredibly intense throughout the majority of his scenes, purely venomous and bristling with menace and utter hostility; it's easily one of the best voices I've ever heard in any movie. In his best scenes Palance delivers a powerful performance, as Voltan the dark one, a cursed demonic knight who suffers from an infliction to his face that cannot be healed. A broad shouldered 6'5 specimen, Palance looks quite convincing in his armor and cape.However Hawk The Slayer has entirely too many ponderous scenes and a slew of other problems: tasteless art direction, woeful special effects, lot's of wooden acting, lacking color saturation, numerous instances of questionable editing, uniquely terrible music, etc.Hawk The Slayer: Is a colorful failure in the Sword and Sorcery genre, made bearable by several entertaining high-light scenes, which are usually rife with garish tastelessness - as only this film can do.

I am shocked that this was released in 1981... But either way, I just love the film.Its definitely a cult classic fantasy movie and I feel that it is one that stands the test of time. Maybe not effects wise which have moved on a lot but with the story.Some amazingly big names star from the likes of Jack Pallance and the late Bernard Bresslaw, who was sadly type cast to far more comedy roles.A well written script provides some good laughs as well.With todays action driven formula for movies, newer viewers would find this somewhat lacking as the emphasis is defiantly on a believable story - Which borrows more than a little from Tolkien (Just listen to a few names that are mentioned and you will understand what I mean...) but this should not put anyone off giving this film the once over.Could this be another title ripe for a remake for a new generation... Indeed it should be - But I feel that too many of our current talents may try too hard to make it an all action movie and lose sight of the plot.James Cameron, Steven Spielberg, Ridley Scott, Ron HowardA not so guilty pleasure... Come on kids! have a look and see how times have moved on... And for a while, Enjoy a really good story!

A charismatic hero that makes Tommy Wiseau look like a one-dimensional corpse, non-stop action, an enthralling plot, SFX which render Transformers 3 a SyFy production in comparison...at this point I woke from my slumber on the sofa and stared in disbelief that this movie was still running. It had all been a delightful dream, my body saving me from the torture of facing this ordeal without a break. The most entertaining 20 minutes of the film was when I had slipped into a coma of boredom from being subjected to John Terry's emotionless presence and the ridiculous sound effects that sounded like they were made using the sound effects on a pre-school Casio keyboard.The editing on this movie was a joy to behold. The brilliant use of re-showing the same scene but being sped up just to give the impression that the crossbow was being shot in some rapid fire mode is just underused in today's movies.The interesting debate this movie brought about was - what makes a bad movie funny? Me and my friend watch many bad movies as they are unintentionally the best comedies. Classics such as The Room, Troll 2 and Hercules in New York and so this had the potential to be comedy gold, but instead fell into the deep pit of silly string and pre-school keyboard sound effects and joined the only other movie that has sent me to sleep on that same sofa, McBain.After the film had ended, I was left in a state of confusion and anger. Only one thing could restore my faith in awful movies, the dulcet tones and infectious chuckle of the Croation cyborg himself, step forward Mr Tommy Wiseau. After 30 seconds of The Room, my faith had been restored and i was more entertained than I had been during the entire ordeal of Hawk. If Tommy Wiseau was the lead of every movie, the world would be a better place.

Hawk The Slayer is one of those movies that looks better through the rose tinted glow of nostalgia than it really is. In fact its a cheap, badly acted, stupid movie with rubbish effects that must have been written, directed and edited by a 5 year old.Jack Palance has some kind of eye patch and tries to make up for the wooden acting of everyone else by overacting to a degree that even the most over the top panto performer would be embarrassed by. Bernard Breslaw plays the giant without any kind of fx to make him look taller, clobbering the baddies with his plastic hammer like a kind of sword and sorcery Timmy Mallett. Wacaday!Most of the cast and the director never did any thing else memorable.Awful movie with a ridiculous soundtrack.