To me, this movie is perfection.

Save your money for something good and enjoyable

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

True to its essence, the characters remain on the same line and manage to entertain the viewer, each highlighting their own distinctive qualities or touches.

Back before Johnny Depp revolutionised the pirate movie with his camp ways there were the odd rum fuelled flicks such as this. Roman Polanski doing what he does best which is creating lavish productions that tend to not be overly successful at first but gain cult status.The story is naturally a typically salty one involving Walter Matthau's 'Captain Red' and his young French sidekick trying to pinch a golden throne from some fancy pant Spaniards. At the same time there is of course a love interest for the young dashing French sailor, mutinies, plenty of galleon boarding from both sides and lots of skullduggery on land and at sea. I think this film is very similar to 'The Fearless Vampire Killers' in the fact that its actually kinda dull but looks beautiful. All the pirates, especially Matthau, look as they should do, covered in dirty rag-like attire, greasy facial hair, deep tans, golden teeth...every bit the stereotypical swashbuckling sea dog. I was quite intrigued with the wooden leg Matthau's Captain has, it really looks like he has a real wooden peg leg! and this is before CGI folks, impressed. On the flip side the Spanish look perfectly rich, aristocratic, pompous, snooty and dignified in their very impressive duds. The wigs sell the whole look if you ask me, really authentic looking.I was also very impressed with Matthau's cockney English accent. He genuinely does a sterling job with it and comes across not American that's for sure. At the same time Damien Thomas as the preening perfume smelling 'Don Alfonso' is by far the stand out performance. You can truly see the disgust and contempt in his face for the wretched pirate scum, I really enjoyed his peacock-like display of regal superiority.All the characters and extras look great and are accompanied by some luscious tropical locations and some nice olde worlde period ports (real locations). Did I mention the ship yet? no? well lemme tell you, it looks awesome. Fully realised to scale with a working motor so it can sail, completely detailed from top to bottom with everything you'd expect to see on a 17th Century Spanish vessel.Yep its all visually stunning with good performances but unfortunately that's about it. There is very little of interest going on plot wise, the film is way too long and there isn't that much swashbuckling going on surprisingly. This isn't a silly fantasy flick nor is it a historically accurate flick, but it does bring a more down to earth approach to the genre. There isn't much flamboyant heroics here ladies and gentlemen, more like backstabbing with every man for himself, more genuine. No way is it as bad as suggested and I'm not sure why it didn't do better at the cinema, its a solid romp. Think along the lines of Richard Lester's Three Musketeer movies but with less comedy.6/10

I am not foolish enough to think that most GREAT stories don't have a least a little bit of fabrication and embellishment involved in creating it. That being said; some level of realism or believability certainly helps get me into a story.When it comes to pirate movies; the idea of some young pretty boy in mascara (Jack Sparrow), who could not intimidate a little old lady on the corner—let alone run a crew of cutthroats, is just a wee bit of a stretch for me. In addition to make believe monsters, and the likes, well suffice it to say, that just don't do it for me.Roman Pulaski's 1986 Pirates is perhaps one of the biggest movie flops of the 80's. A ship costing over eight million dollars was built for the film, and yet it grossed less than two million. This film was a financial and critical blunder, yet in my opinion, it was one of the decade's BEST films. Why? Perhaps if it had some ghosts, goblins, monsters, and giant sea creatures; maybe throw in several 45 minute long battle and fight scenes, with arms and heads flying, blood and gusts spewing everywhere; Maybe if Captain Red would have been some handsome, strapping, young, fellow, who in the end gets the beautiful girl, who is far above his station; And if Disney would have had their name attached to it; Then perhaps this film would have been a so-called success.But this is not that kind of movie. This is a movie that has grit and charm. It is a movie that does an excellent job balancing our all too often, inaccurate, romantic visions of eighteenth century pirates, with a realism in both language and mannerisms, along with a genuine attitude and presence. The characters are real, complete, and believable. The script is creative, intelligent and authentic. The acting is nothing short of amazing; starting with Walter Mathau's who IS Captain Thomas Bartholomew Red, and continuing with The Frog, Lieutenant Don Alfonso de la Torré, Boomako, the Surgeon, Padre, and the list goes on and on.Not what I would necessarily call a comedy, the entire film is laced with witty humor. I do not recall bursting aloud so much, as wearing a constant grin through-out, and chuckling time and time again.The music is inspiring, and the cinema photography is breathtaking.This movie takes you on a fun and exciting adventure, and it is not until the credits roll that you realize this was only a movie, and you were never really there.

Essentially a rehash of every pirate movie ever made, it is predictable, somewhat slow moving at times and chock full of historic anachronisms. Thats the bad part. The good part is Matthau.He pulls out all the stops and makes his character come alive!hough it is a comedic performance{its a pirate movie, right} it is one of the best he has ever given, even considering the excellent work he's done with Jack Lemmon.He IS the show and really towers over what basically is a no-name cast, though the Frog ain't half bad. The part with the rat is priceless. There is good scenery, a17th century galleon that looks the part and a great musical score too.So for something a little bit different and unusual, its worth seeing. Hard to believe a "serious" director like Polanski would do a film like this, but thats part of the fun.

Captain Red and his loyal companion "The Frog", get's "rescued" from the certain death by a Spanish ship. They later discover that the ship has a precious cargo. Captain Red is obsessed with treasures and things of value, but his french companion value human relationships higher. That difference leads to several funny situations.I saw this film over and over again as a little boy. My father had taped over certain parts of it with the weather news... It was the greatest pirate-film! When I finally saw it as an adult, I enjoyed it very much! Great costumes and a great story. If you like pirate-movies, this one is a must-see! It's the perfect B-film! A bit more funny this time around... The film has quite a lot of sword fighting and violence, but i reckon the film is suitable for kids over 10 years.