If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

Very good movie overall, highly recommended. Most of the negative reviews don't have any merit and are all pollitically based. Give this movie a chance at least, and it might give you a different perspective.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

Bit of a surprise here as despite the suggestions of gore on the DVD box, this began much as expected as a low budget UK film with buffoon like characters botching up a rather ridiculous kidnap attempt. Andy Serkis is great as the lead loon and although many have expressed dislike at Jennifer Ellison's performance as the victim, I thought she was rather good, although I see she has made no more movies. Beginning then as some sort of TV film of a crazy messed up kidnap, this suddenly swerves into a full scale slasher spoof with an amazing amount of very nasty (though still amusing) gory effects. And beneath it all, instead of some polite little London clubland dispute we have a major Texas Chainsaw dimension horror (though just still maintaining some level of humour). Great effort and if the first part went on longer than it might and subsequently the gore section also seemed on the verge of outstaying its welcome, it is clear there is a film maker of some stature at work here and we shall see more. Hard one to pull off, horror and comedy.

Andy Serkis. If you know your films (mainly post Lord of the Rings) you'll probably know him best for being the man behind the (completely computer-generated) Gollum and then dozens other equally digital Hollywood creations. However, it's rare that the man behind the effects gets to shine. Granted (and no offense Mr Serkis if by some fluke you ever read this!) he's not exactly picture perfect leading man material, but he sure is fun to watch in the right setting.Here, in this low budget British horror 'The Cottage,' he plays one half of a pair of inept brothers who are trying to get rich quick by kidnapping the (borderline indestructible Jennifer Ellison) teenage daughter of local kingpin 'Arnie' and holding up in the titular cottage.' Now, bearing in mind that the brothers are hardly the Kray twins, this would be dangerous enough. However, their plight isn't exactly aided by Jennifer Ellison being possibly the most difficult victim ever tied to a bed and gagged. Oh, and did I mention the locals aren't too friendly either? What you're left with is a pretty low budget, but very gruesome ninety minutes of fun. Yes, it's not Oscar worthy and the special effects aren't that special in places (I'm talking about possibly one of the most blatant 'full face masks' ever committed to the silver screen. But that doesn't matter. Serkis carries the film alone, but that's not to say that his (henpecked) brother, played by Reece Shearsmith doesn't deserve a mention (especially due to his inexplainable fear of moths) and then you have Jennifer Ellison who is just wonderfully obtuse (and foul-mouthed) at every turn.Don't expect Shakespeare, just expect deliciously over-the-top fun (with severed body parts aplenty).

I rather enjoyed this British horror/comedy. It was not as good as say Shaun of the Dead or Dog Soldiers, but it was a rather entertaining film. Why did I mention those films? Well Shaun of the Dead is a horror comedy that keeps its comedic tone constant throughout and is more comedy than horror. While Dog Soldiers was mainly horror, but did have parts that were comedic. The problem with this film is that it feels a bit uneven. The first portion of the film is a kidnapping gone wrong and black comedy while the second half it becomes a horror/slasher film that maintains some of the comedic tones, but at the same time gets too dark. When I watch a film like this, I expect the leads to survive the crisis like in Shaun of the Dead...well okay, I guess one did not technically survive. In this one, does not happen. That being said it did manage to surprise me with the ending.The story has two brothers who have kidnapped this girl and are holding her for ransom. Things begin to go wrong fast as the brother who does not seem to have a handle for the type of thing the two brothers are doing lets things slip. Another member of the group who brings the money makes his fair share of mistakes too, less to do with an inability to handle the situation, but more to do with the fact he is quite dim. Things begin going badly and just as they do not seem to be able to get worse they get much worse as they stumble upon a farmhouse where something sinister is lurking.I liked the film, as I found the first portion of the film very funny. I kind of wish it would have stayed a simple kidnapping gone wrong as it got a bit too dark once the deranged lunatic showed up. There are still funny moments, but like I said, was not expecting it to be quite so brutal. They put everyone through so much only to put them through even more! So not the best horror/comedy I have seen from the British, but still every enjoyable.

This is a surprisingly entertaining film. It shows what a bunch of good actors and producers can do on a budget. Nowhere near as gory as some and the plot has been done to death a thousand times but when the gore comes it is really surprisingly well done and will make you jump out of your skin at times. Well worth the money and one to watch more than once. Miss Ellison is a delight. Hilarious Comedy mixed with blood & gore, I think the cast must have had a real job to keep a straight face during filming, especially the scene with David and the bumbling idiot character, Andrew. (re the bottle opener, and the balaclava).... What comedy genius!THIS FILM TRULY IS A GEM!!