Sick Product of a Sick System

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

In Alpine Lake, Nevada, two sheriff's deputies go to a house on the lake and find numerous animals, and a cute 3-year-old girl. The cops chase Clint, who is in a van, and he is sent to prison. There is no one to pick up Carly, so she will go to Child Services.Five years later, Meredith, one of the deputies that discovered Carly, is the girl's mother. Apparently she adopted the girl, but the details are never mentioned. Carly isn't quite as cute any more, but she is cute later, in an edgy way. Meredith is such a good mother, and she really cares about Carly. And her mother is there to help. Clint is out of prison and wants visitation. Meredith has no intention of letting that happen. Also, Don's goons visit Clint at his lake house demanding that he come back to work. Despite having guns, the goons get the same treatment as Rocky Balboa.People are having fun at the beach, including girls in bikinis. An underwater camera shows ... nothing at this point but there is ominous music.Christopher and his wife are retired and in a more isolated area. Christopher goes in the lake to pan for gold while his wife goes back for a camera. Underwater camera, ominous music, oh, NOOOOO ...The sign says bears are active, so the conclusion is that it was a bear attack. Meredith doubts this, and so does Peter, a fish expert who just happens to be in the community for a study, and hears about the controversy in a restaurant. He begins investigating.Hunters are going after the bear, and yes, we do see one.But one night there is a bachelorette party at the lake. The camera operators make certain we get a good look at the bikinis. One girl whose bikini is so revealing her rear end has to be blurred on broadcast TV goes in the water with a guy. Underwater camera, ominous music ...Peter makes a terrible discovery. Given the title of the movie, we know what it really is, right? But where did it come from? I think we know that too. And just in case you don't, Don himself shows up at Clint's place with even more goons and guns this time, and demands what is rightfully his.A colorful BBC TV host named Garreth shows up and wants to make the capture or killing of the animal into one of his TV episodes, complete with interviews and exciting narration. The girl from the bachelorette party is asked some questions, and she's quite a character too, though not much in the brains department. Also, she's wearing more. Several plot lines go together to give us some adventure and deliver an exciting climax. Peter and Meredith work together and even show signs of a possible romance. I need to point out a mistake in the listing that came with my TiVo. Meredith is not working with her husband. She is single. I mention this since you might have seen the same mistake somewhere. This is a pretty standard horror/thriller, and not really scary if that's what you're looking for. Not that bloody either, at least when cleaned up for broadcast TV. There is a lot of red water, but not gore, and not that many views of the dangerous animal until later. This movie relies a lot on suspense; you think something is about to happen but don't always get rewarded.Dolph Lundgren does a surprisingly good job in one scene where Clint shows just how much he loves Carly. He's not consistently talented but does a good enough job. We get to laugh a few times, especially at Garreth. It's a shame he had to give up on his quest more quickly than we would have liked. Miles Doleac is a real standout here. Sara Lane does okay as Meredith, particularly when she is a mother, but she's not great. She does have a mouth on her as a lot of her words had to be bleeped.Lance Nichols is quite good as the sheriff.Lily Brooks O'Briant may have a future. She's pretty good as young Carly. Matalin Rayborn has a couple of scenes of even younger Carly and she's just adorable. I don't think she speaks but she does smile a lot. If you are the age Carly is in most of the movie, Iu don't really recommend this unless it's cleaned up for broadcast as it was for me, and even then I'd be cautious. But the V-chip rating was TV-PG with L and V. In "Jaws" they say, "You're gonna need a bigger boat." In this movie, "You're gonna need a boat." and "That's not big enough." I think this gives you an idea of how the two movies compare.It's not a classic, or even bad enough to be good, but it's not bad.

Low budget shark films generally do not get a good reputation and one can see why. There are a few guilty pleasure ones, like the first two 'Sharknado' films while not considering them great by any stretch. Most are just painfully amateurish with very little to them to set them apart or make them different, other than the odd silly idea not well executed. The good news is for 'Shark Lake' is that there are far worse shark films out there (those from SyFy and The Asylum are notorious in this regard) and at least there are redeeming values, even if not many. Something that cannot be said for too many other low-budget shark films, of the shark films seen recently 'Shark Lake' is actually one of the least bad. The not so good news is that 'Shark Lake' is still not a good film at all, with a lot wrong with it and the wrong elements are done poorly.That 'Shark Lake' stars, or more like features, Dolph Lundgren is one of three reasons why people are likely to see it for, the others being if they are trying to see as many shark-attack films as possible (my main reason actually) or intrigued by the interesting idea the film had going for it. Lundgren is the best thing about it, his character and presence do feel shoe-horned in and seemed to be mainly there for obligatory star power, but Lundgren does try hard and gives actually a pretty reasonable performance considering what he has to work with.Did think that the scenery was fairly atmospheric, though wasted by how terrible the rest of the production values are and that the location didn't feel enough of its own character. The music is ok, not exactly memorable but gets the job done and there are far more ill-fitting scores in low-budget films.However, everything else is bad. The shark effects look terrible, even for low budget, and there is not much menace, suspense or fun in the mostly under-utilised and under-characterised shark action. No menace or personality here from the threat, not even unintentional humour or weird goofiness.'Shark Lake's' horror element is not scary or suspenseful enough and then there is a romance thrown in that is too bland to feeling anything for and too strange to take seriously. Pretty good idea but executed in a not too good way.Rest of the acting is dreadful, especially from Sara Lane, and the characters are not worth investing in or interesting. The script is a shambles, how the actors said all that awkward and toe-curlingly cringe-worthy dialogue without falling about laughing in front of the camera is worth anyone's guess. The story has nothing to it and doesn't do enough or execute well its main selling point. The direction is flat. Overall, there's worse but there's not much to this. 3/10 Bethany Cox

A mind-shattering masterpiece, assuming you have a mind to shatter.Dolph.What more needs to be said? 5 more lines? OK!Take Ghostbusters, remove the ghosts and the buses, add in a dash of Apocalypse Now and Total Recall, then remove the jungles and mars, and you get Twister. But add Twister to Deep Blue Sea and you get Sharknado. I'm not even joking there, that was a real thing they made like 6 of them.Anyway, this move has sharks and Dolph, maybe nimature golf. I don't know.1652381/14

Swimmers and land-lovers begin to become part of the food chain In a quiet town on Lake Tahoe. After Legendary (2013) Dolph Lundgren returns to another creature features themed film in this slightly better than a Syfy feature thanks to some murky CGI. Lundgren with limited screen time plays a black-market exotic species dealer named Clint, I kid you not.With a setting reminiscent of Lake Placid, there's plenty of fake blood, CGI and attacks in two feet of water. It warms up slightly in the last twenty minutes and as the water gets deeper, but don't go expecting Jaws or The Reef, as Dolph and company thump their way to survival. It's played straight and the actors do there best, notable is the young actress Lily Brooks O'Briant and Sara Malakul Lane as cop Meredith Hendricks.To director Jerry Dugan's credit the fantastic location gives it some atmosphere and the night-time scenes hide much of the production's low budge short comings. With an air of seriousness it's better than the endless amount of CGI shark versus... fill in the blank, or spoofs doing the rounds. Its not good or memorable enough to achieve cult status, a lot of effort has gone into this but it's probably no coincidence they're hunting a Bullshark.