Sorry, this movie sucks

Please don't spend money on this.

As somebody who had not heard any of this before, it became a curious phenomenon to sit and watch a film and slowly have the realities begin to click into place.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

This is one of the worst films I have EVER seen. It deserves a ZERO rating. The acting is lousy, the effects are dreadful, the direction horrible. Truly, one of THE worst movies EVER. I can't bear to go into details, it is so sickening a flick.

Okay, I watched 19 minutes and already with the first quake I see the biggest nonsense: the guy rescue a girl from inside who immediately simply walks with him, with outside a few people on their knees protecting each other for falling rumble and others just sit relaxed at a pick nick table as if nothing is happening there. A hippo that is totally fake, people who don't acre about others and just go for themselves, I've never seen so many stupid things in just the first part of a movie. Even for the stupid 2,75 I rented it at google-play, I feel like I should have bought a coffee instead. And that in 54 years of my life, I never had it before.

Definitely worth watching. Some good effects of earthquake damage. The actors have been released from jail after promising never to do a movie together again.Overacting causes the ground to shake and it is picked up by some sensors. Women can't run. Los Angeles is shaking from a quake on the San Andreas, so the people are told to flee to the east. All lanes of the 10 freeway now go east. The writer probably did not know the San Andreas fault is east of Los Angeles. Still a fun movie. Everybody has a gun. New skyscrapers fall before the 100 year old hotel. It's OK to steal a car. Los Angeles drivers all leave their cars parked on roadsides with the windows rolled down and no Club on the steering wheel. There are some wires under the dash that hang down so you just rub them together to start the car.Whatever you do during an earthquake do not check on the baby hippo.Argue with the National Guard. Grab their gun.This is very good for Bad Movie Night. A 12.7 magnitude quake would wipe out all life on Earth except for a couple of hippos and a giraffe and some car thieves.

Very few of The Asylum's movies are good at all, let alone great, being poorly made, badly written and acted and far too derivative. There is always something fascinating however about their badness, their best efforts are reasonably entertaining but rarely rise above mediocre but at their worst their movies are intelligence-insulting and an assault on the senses. While this reviewer has not seen the movie 'San Andreas Quake' is ripped off of, 'San Andreas', it really does have to be really bad to be worse than this . From understanding that movie has mixed reviews, whereas 'San Andreas Quake' has been almost universally panned in the IMDb reviews. While 'San Andreas Quake' is not quite among the Asylum's very worst, it is one of their worst recent efforts. To say that 'San Andreas Quake' is poorly made is an understatement, if anything it is one of the cheapest-looking movies personally seen in some time. Hard to say which is worse. The drab-in-colour production design; the cheap and far too simplistic sets and scenery, looking almost dead in fact; the less-than-smooth photography; the bacon-slicer-like choppy editing, or the CGI, which is not only of horrendous quality (even films from the 70s would have rejected them) but also either appear out of nowhere or have no reason for being in that scene. The music is often intrusive, has little pace, over- scored and too often just doesn't fit with what's going on, it tries to bring energy to scenes that are in desperate need for it but it doesn't in any way gel. 'San Andreas Quake' is incredibly poorly scripted, with line after line of clunky, sometimes childish dialogue and even more stilted line delivery, and the audience is assaulted even more with disaster / scientific jargon that's little more than incoherent gibberish (it was like the writers didn't have a clue what they were writing, if that was indeed the case the viewers do not have a hope, Jhey Castles has the worst of it), sometimes misplaced and irritating comedic parts and cloying sentimentality. The story is far too simple for its own good, doesn't even try to do anything original or surprising with the genre or premise, and drags as a result (especially in the sentimental scenes, that drag so much and are so sickly sweet it's enough to make one throw up quite violently), also displaying no energy, suspense or fun and throughout 'San Andreas Quake' lacks real panic and danger. The very few times it tries to explain anything, it always comes across as implausible and underdeveloped.Every bit as bad are the characters and how they are written. There is nothing interesting or relatable about them. If anything they are as one-dimensional as one could possibly get and big, obnoxious stereotypes. If you had a list of every cliché in the book with characters, their situations and what happens in the story and ticking off every cliché that appears the list by the end of the movie is guaranteed to have ticks on every or almost every cliché listed. The direction is flat and shows no competence, the action/disaster sequences should be exciting but are too sparsely populated and dizzyingly shot and edited, if any sense of destruction was intended it doesn't in any way show here and it focuses too much on the aftermath rather than actual destruction itself. The acting is throughout poor at best, sure it is hard to do anything with such a bad script but the cast could at least have tried. Grace Van Dien grates on the nerves and Lane Townsend couldn't have been any more bland, while Jhey Castles looks like she doesn't understand a word of her dialogue hence the complete lack of conviction. Overall, 'San Andreas Quake' is a train wreck, and for a disaster movie the only disaster really is how appallingly executed the whole thing is. 1/10, and that is being generous. Bethany Cox