Best movie ever!

The film creates a perfect balance between action and depth of basic needs, in the midst of an infertile atmosphere.

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

Five travelling carny workers - Charly (Sheri Moon Zombie), Panda (Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs), Venus (Meg Foster), Levon (Kevin Jackson), and Roscoe (Jeff Daniel Phillips) - are abducted by a sick bunch of freaks and made to play a sadistic game of survival. The proceedings are run by macabre Masters of Ceremony - Father Murder (Malcolm McDowell), Sister Serpent (Jane Carr), and Sister Dragon (Judy Geeson) - and the mean s.o.b.s who torture, taunt, and kill them have names like "Sick-Head" (Pancho Moler), "Death-Head" (Torsten Voges), and "Psycho-Head" (Lew Temple). The absolute worst of the bunch is a monster named "Doom-Head" (Richard Brake), who revels in his job.Rob Zombies' crowd-funded movie was a return to the sort of blood-soaked depravity with which he made his name, after too much disappointment was expressed over "The Lords of Salem", his attempt to step outside his usual wheelhouse. Once again, he shows that his way with dialogue tends to be hit-and-miss; sometimes he comes up with something quotable, but most of the time it's just insipid. The opening scenes that establish our protagonists are rough going, and don't exactly endear the characters to this viewer. Therefore, it's hard to care much about what happens to most of them. Zombies' inane script, which lacks imagination and wit, makes a waste of some good atmosphere, production design, and cinematography.All of that said, the casts in his films are usually pretty eclectic. Tracey Walter, Daniel Roebuck, and Elizabeth Daily also put in appearances. The standouts include old pro Foster, who gets to be pretty badass, and character actor Brake, who's definitely relishing this moment in the spotlight. His is a villain who obviously enjoys what he does.One more good thing about Zombies' efforts are the soundtracks, and this one is no exception. The music that plays over the closing credits is especially groovy.Fans of hardcore horror and Zombies' loyal fan base are certain to be amused, but this will likely be a struggle to get through for most folks. Brake and Foster raised the rating a bit for this viewer.Six out of 10.

"31" is the kind of movie that makes you wonder what went wrong. It seems unlikely the filmmakers were happy with the final product. It's confusing, hard to follow, and the pacing is all messed up. It feels like it's probably missing scenes that would have explained key details, or given us time to catch up and actually care about what we're seeing.The plot is something to do with a group of people traveling in a camper van in the '70s when they get kidnapped by a murderous group of side show freaks and forced to play some kind of survival game.Apparently this group of people are carnival workers themselves, though I missed where that was explained. Aside from Sheri Moon Zombie none of the characters make any impression anyway. One of them looks so much like a young Sid Haig you wonder why the man himself wasn't cast.The movie has one great moment, and that's the very beginning. Richard Brake, a great discovery of Zombie's, breaks (no pun intended) the fourth wall and I had the uncanny sensation he really was talking to me. I can't remember that happening in a movie before.Apparently this movie was crowd-funded "twice". Perhaps that is a sign that something went wrong behind the scenes. Did they run out of money the first time?

While I don't think its as bad as as most people seem to be voting this movie, its far from good. Its your typical, run of the mill "people locked in a building and have to escape while getting hunted down by psychopathic killers dressed as midget zombies, clowns or the joker out of batman armed with chainsaws, knives and big sticks" film.Its OK(ish) in all honesty, much better than Lords of Salem not as good as House of 1000 Corpses or Devils rejects - horror has become a very disappointing genre, there have been very, very few notable horror movies released in the last decade and this is no exception, just more fodder for the bargain bin.

I don't know why this movie is getting such bad reviews. I may be alone here but Rob Zombie hasn't made a movie that I didn't love. Everything about this for me was magical, especially the open ending. The cast is great, the story is great, special effects... It's all great. I just think that I have an attachment to him as a director and enjoy what he is putting out.