Plenty to Like, Plenty to Dislike

Absolutely Fantastic

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

I have heard the term "epic fail", which may die out quickly, so people in 2020 won't know what it means. I wouldn't know what the term means if I didn't see this movie."Epic fail".It's another of the modern day invincible monster movies. A monster, that for some reason mutilates everyone except the only two people that would make sense to mutilate.The worst part of the movie is the leading man. We know as soon as we see the "talk show" that he will be the leading man. It isn't disguised. He is a Howard Stern rip off. Howard Stern, for those of you who will read this in 2020 and not know who he is, was the dullest talk show host ever. He paraded half naked voluptuous women, talked about sex, and still managed to be horribly boring. If there was a prize for "Negative Talent" or "Zero Talent", he would win it.Same for this leading man. He comes up with the ideas that any normal guy would, but we never buy that he has that creativity.Which all goes into the "epic fail" of the movie.We expect clichés. This movie uses all of the wrong clichés. The dull ones. The ones that alienate guys. The ones that take all the fun out of movies. All of them.The writers try too hard to write what they think will be "funny" or "memorable" lines, but they are just flat. It doesn't work."Epic Fail".

The video case that I read had "From the creators of Leprechaun" on the front cover and that alone should have been a good enough warning to what you might see. And it doesn't disappoint. To be honest, I don't like the aforementioned film and "Rumpelstiltskin" is pretty much in the same style from its fairytale theme, jokey attitude, chase elements, hideous 90s fashion, a touch of nastiness and an ugly, but charismatic little folklore monster (this time a Brothers Grimm creation). I found the Rumpelstilskin character to be a little less annoying, but this doesn't make it much better. Here we have the wicked gnome materialising in the 20th century, after being cursed by a witch which saw him turned into a stone many centuries ago. Now that he's been released and a wish has been granted, he goes after the widow's first born. Quite low-budget, as the story (a bedtime fairytale coming to life, which steals its thunder from "The Terminator"!) remains on the move flinging out many outrageous set-pieces (ending off in the usual atmospheric graveyard… the place to be), but never does it take itself that seriously. The story is clichéd, but there are few unusual plot developments. Max Grodénchik decked out in some decent looking make-up, cracks out the one-liners and can leave a bloody mess of destruction. What occurs is somewhat lousy, but sort of fun in a silly way. Kim Johnston Ulrich is affably strong in the central role (a lot better than the material asks for and deserves) and Tommy Blaze ("I'm an asshole. Not a hero") makes for a aggravating jerk with some outright scary looking shirts and a rapid mouth. Also appearing are Allyce Beasley, Jack McGee and Mark Holton. And there are plenty of bemused faces. Mark Jones direction is competent, but quite mechanical and unassuming with its lively pacing and performances' giving it's up and go. Tacky, but harmless horror comedy junk.

A strange urge took possession over me and encouraged me to re-watch this epic piece of fairy-tale terror with an attitude. I can't help it, but I'm still having fun with this one. Liked it the first time, and I still do. It's from the director who brought us that other masterpiece of little people's horror, the original LEPRECHAUN. Believe it or not, both movies are just about on par with each other and equally enjoyable. If it's not clear already: Yes, we're talking B-movie tongue-in-cheek horror. But at least it was shot on real film and doesn't suffer from a cheap shot-on-video look (like a lot of B-movies from the late 90's do).RUMPELSTILSKIN is a nonsensical take on a Grimm fairy-tale gone bad. After being imprisoned for about 500 years in a little statue made out of stone (at the bottom of the ocean, no less), Rumpelstiltskin gets set free by a grieving, young mother, who just bought the statue in some antique-store. Now our little devilish fiend wants the soul of mommy's baby, to render himself immortal.While most mediocre horror efforts from the 90's made the mistake playing it serious when not up to the task, at least there was nonsense like RUMPELSTILTSKIN that has its idiotic heart at the right place. Main attraction is, without a doubt, Max Grodénchik as the titular little bastard, spewing one ridiculous one-liner after another. At one point he even quotes Col. Hannibal from THE A-TEAM by saying "I love it when a plan comes together", while driving an 8-wheeler and puffing on a cigar. And that's by far not his best one-liner. But who would have guessed a 15th century troll-demon would know who George Peppard is…?If the first encounter between Shelley Stewart (the young mother) and freshly unleashed Rumpelstiltskin doesn't win you over, then I'm afraid the rest of the movie might be lost on you too. When trying to protect her baby, Shelley - who appears to be so mild-hearted and very gentle at first - begins with kicking Rumpy in the balls, then suddenly pulls out a big knife and viciously shouts "When you take one more step, I'll rip your head off and shove it up your ass!" (and she said it like she meant it). She then proceeds cutting off one of his fingers, planting the knife in his forehead and even shoving a spike-shaped broomstick into his mouth. I mean, if that doesn't put a grin on your face, I'm not sure what will.The rest of the film is a ridiculously fun ride and the movie's pace even gets upped a bit by injecting that road-movie vibe, halfway through the film. To top it off, there's some fun make-up effects by Kevin Yagher (check out the man's resumé if you've never heard of him and you'll see he always delivers the goods).It's harmless fun, I tell you. But stay away from it if you feel like taking yourself too seriously.

Just when you thought that Leprechaun Back 2 the Hood was bad, comes a movie that makes Death Factory look like The Convent.... Again we see a mythical creature thrown into the present day with evil intentions. And though this movie is undeniable crap, I would suggest watching it if it ever graces you're local television station. Perhaps renting it if you have the right drugs handy. Full of corny one liners and an evil munchkin that demands a "steed" in the form of a motorcycle, this movie offers no scares but plenty of "I can't believe this made it to film" laughs. My memories of film in the 90's consist of technological advances such as computer generated graphics and good acting. This movie feels like it was made in the early 80's, perhaps late 70's. It might have even passed for a decent horror flick back then. The creators must have known this movie would offer more laughs than scares, especially with such lines as "fuckith me" just before our short fiend crashes his new truck. I give this movie a 10, only because it is petheticaly entertaining, and I feel bad for midgets. They have enough short comings.